DD8 will be developing breast soon and I have no idea how to bring up a training bra without making her feel like I am forcing her to be a girl. Now, she knows she is a girl and has never said she "feels" like a boy; just that she wants to be a boy, so there is a possibility that in the future she will change her mind but we want to make sure that nothing we say or do will make her feel that we do not have her back no matter what.
If anyone can make it thru my jumbled ramblings I would appreciate any advice or suggestions?
None of us really give it too much thought and she's allowed to express herself any way she chooses. But the facts of life are that she will eventually develop breasts, have periods, etc. and those things need attention.
When the time comes, her mother will have a matter-of-fact discussion about those things. She will know it won't affect the clothes or activities she chooses but her body WILL change, and due to that fact, there are certain things she will have to do to accommodate those changes. It has nothing to do with wanting her to be a girl, it's all about nature and the inevitable.
I'm sure you will handle it just fine. She is lucky to have such a supportive family. Don't stress too much about it.
[This message edited by cryingdaily at 10:25 PM, April 25th (Friday)]
As for right now? She's eight. Even if you see buds starting, I'd just throw a couple of undershirts in her drawer. She may want to wear them herself without you saying anything, especially if she's confused about gender, because she won't really want her breasts showing, you know?
Hope others have some good suggestions for you.
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DD is very worried about anyone seeing her private parts, but in her mind her private parts are any piece of skin between the knees and neck, including her shoulders. So her new soccer jersey is a small but it is HUGE on her and she feels uncomfortable wearing it because the sleeves bulge out and show parts of her upper arms and chest when she runs. I thought it would be the perfect opportunity to see if I could get her into a simple tank top. No dice. She freaked out about how it showed too much of her shoulders (even though it would be under the jersey) and that it was wwwwaaaayyyyy to tight. I'm tabling this for a while.
Just on a side note, 3 of her soccer mates are already wear training bras! They are all 8!!! It is true that puberty is happening earlier and earlier.
If she is athletic couch it in keeping everything tight for the game. There's no need to get a "training" bra. Just wait for her to actually need some support and then get a sports bra or undershirt.
My two teen daughters just about live in sports bras. Now that they are older teens they have succumbed to the lure of pretty bras.