I think when you look at someone's profile on linked in or facebook that those sites then ask the person if they would like to connect with you.
Interesting...I didn't know FB did this. I will have to pay closer attention to the people "suggested" to me.
Notme - First off....I see NOTHING wrong with cyberstalking a new person you are dating. When I was OLD, I flat out told them that I do my own version of internet research to verify they are who they say they are.
THIS includes FB. I found you can tell a lot about them by their pictures (their own and the ones they are tagged in).
I find it unlikely you accidently sent something but you should be able to track that (ie check your pending friend requests, etc).
Even if you did (friend requested the mom) - I would not think that would be a dealbreaker. All she has to do is ignore ya.
There is a chance the FB thing has nothing to do with you but rather someone else in the family or acquaintance.
As for him poofing - who knows....we all know how frustrating this early dating is.