The radiation treatments did their job, but he had issues with the chemo. The side effects of the chemo and the effects from the progression of his type of cancer were identical, so we were constantly monitoring him and working to adjust his meds. So long as there was no indication of disease progression and the 'effects' were from the meds, I was willing to do what I needed to do to get him through it. Unfortunately, last Tuesday, the docs found evidence of progression.
I was taking dog for treatment at the college my oldest attends. My oldest son was this dog's *person*, so I was happy that son was getting to see his dog on a regular basis. I kept him apprised of what the docs were saying in regards to his dog and it was with the heaviest of heart (and not a few tears) that I had to tell my son about the latest discovery and that we were going to have to say good-bye to dog. He asked me to wait until Friday....so that he could be there. I said ok. At that point, dog was tired. Dog was weak. But he was still able to walk around and drink out of the toilet (oy vey. He was never allowed to drink out of the toilet before he got sick). By the time Friday rolled around....it was time.
I had to drive to get DS from the bus and I didn't want to leave dog alone, so I put him in the car and let him ride along. We got home just before my other 2 DS' got home from school. We all stayed outside (it was really nice out) and the boys shot baskets. Just like old times -- the Basset would sleep in the yard while the boys played. Except this time, the boys kept randomly breaking off and coming over to *give the Basset some love*.
Then it was time to go. We took him in to his vet (who was wonderful). The kids had the choice to stay or to step out. They chose to stay. We all stayed with him because we are his *people*. (I love my sweet boys) Dog was always there for us and we were going to be there for him until the end.
It is a good thing for dog, but it sure was hard on us (me and kids, especially dog's *person*.)
In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.
Hamlet, Act I, Scene 3
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
All's Well That Ends Well, Act I, Scene 1
"That's the thing about pain, it demands to be felt."
BIG hugs to you!
I ABSOLUTELY KNOW what you are/have gone through.
I had a family of Lhasa Apso's that became my children within 3 weeks after marrying my Exh in 1994. Buddy started it. We got him a playmate Foxy 4 months later. (silly us) they got busy and created a litter of puppies in 1995 and we (or he) kept me.
One month after my life blew up, I had to take Foxy to be put down in 2008. Every DAY I would say..."not today." Funny how they look at you and tell you it is time. Two years later, I had to take Buddy and then the next his son. Each and every time culminating with the last one were gut wrenching hard.
You MUST know you did the BEST for him and he knows it! He has crossed Rainbow Bridge and is healthy and playing now, waiting for you and your kids to come.
It is SO hard to let go of one of our four legger family members. Remember the good times and know he is happy and healthy now.
47 is the new year of treating myself better than I have in 6 years.
What ever doesn't kill me makes me stronger so long as I remember that
My favorite drink is no longer Guinness but water. Call me Dasani23
A Living Love
If you ever love an animal, there are three days in your life you will always remember . . .
The first is a day, blessed with happiness, when you bring home your young new friend. You may have spent weeks deciding on a breed. You may have asked numerous opinions of many vets, or done long research in finding a breeder. Or, perhaps in a fleeting moment, you may have just chosen that silly looking mutt in a shelter -- simply because something in its eyes reached your heart. But when you bring that chosen pet home, and watch it explore, and claim its special place in your hall or front room -- and when you feel it brush against you for the first time -- it instills a feeling of pure love you will carry with you through the many years to come.
The second day will occur eight or nine or ten years later. It will be a day like any other. Routine and unexceptional. But, for a surprising instant, you will look at your longtime friend and see age where you once saw youth. You will see slow deliberate steps where you once saw energy. And you will see sleep when you once saw activity. So you will begin to adjust your friend's diet -- and you may add a pill or two to her food. And you may feel a growing fear deep within yourself, which bodes of a coming emptiness. And you will feel this uneasy feeling, on and off, until the third day finally arrives.
And on this day -- if your friend and whatever higher being you believe in have not decided for you, then you will be faced with making a decision of your own -- on behalf of your lifelong friend, and with the guidance of your own deepest Spirit. But whichever way your friend eventually leaves you -- you will feel as long as a single star in the dark night.
If you are wise, you will let the tears flow as freely and as often as they must. And if you are typical, you will find that not many in your circle of family or friends will be able to understand your grief, or comfort you.
But if you are true to the love of the pet you cherished through the many joy-filled years, you may find that a soul -- a bit smaller in size than your own -- seems to walk with you, at times, during the lonely days to come.
And at moments when you least expect anything out of the ordinary to happen, you may feel something brush against your leg -- very very lightly.
And looking down at the place where your dear, perhaps dearest, friend used to lie -- you will remember those three significant days. The memory will most likely to be painful, and leave an ache in your heart--
As time passes the ache will come and go as if it has a life of its own. You will both reject it and embrace it, and it may confuse you. If you reject it, it will depress you. If you embrace it, it will deepen you. Either way, it will still be an ache.
But there will be, I assure you, a fourth day when -- along with the memory of your pet -- and piercing through the heaviness in your heart -- there will come a realization that belongs only to you. It will be as unique and strong as our relationship with each animal we have loved, and lost. This realization takes the form of a Living Love -- like the heavenly scent of a rose that remains after the petals have wilted, this Love will remain and grow -- and be there for us to remember. It is a love we have earned. It is the legacy our pets leave us when they go. And it is a gift we may keep with us as long as we live. It is a Love which is ours alone. And until we ourselves leave, perhaps to join our Beloved Pets -- it is a Love we will always possess.
~~by Martin Scot Kosins
Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless
We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.
I'm so sorry for your loss.
DD(21), DS(18, PDD-NOS)
6 Furkids - 4 dogs, 2 cats
WXH (serial cheater, 12+ OW) - Legally married 18yrs
I edit often for clarity/typos.
I'm so very sorry...we're holding you close to our hearts
My tolerance for stupid shit is getting less and less.
I know this feeling all too well. We lost 3 of our fur babies within 10 months of each other. Hugs to you all because I know the hurt you are feeling.
(((((((((((((((((((((((((gonnabe2016 and boys)))))))))))))))))))))))
he is happy and healthy now
glad that you and your sons got that last day with your dog
@Edith -- thank you for posting the words of that man. Very touching.
Hugs, to you and your (his) boys.
[This message edited by Want2help at 12:14 PM, April 27th (Sunday)]
I'm so sorry for you loss, gonnabe. I'm so glad you had him in your life for those 14 years.