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Newest Member: Herself (45715)

User Topic: Trust
BrokenButTrying
♀ 42111
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 12:30 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Answering another thread got me thinking.

I don't trust anyone implicitly with anything. I don't know what that feels like, I don't understand how it's even possible. It seems sort of naive, to me at least. Maybe I've just been burned too many times and I'm cynical. That way of thinking can't be normal, surely?

I don't feel damaged by that. I don't feel my relationships with anyone are tainted or worse off because of it. Maybe I should bring it up with my IC?


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - Jan 2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
cindergirl
♀ 42966
Member # 42966
Default  Posted: 2:02 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure I know what "normal" is anymore. Ha.

I would bring it up with your IC. Being burned lots of times will damage the part of you that trusts. I'm not sure if having a shadow of mistrust is a detriment to your relationships or not. There's a difference between being cynical, being guarded, and just knowing in the back of your mind that humans are flawed and have the capacity to hurt you. The latter is normal. Human beings are flawed and do hurt other people, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not.

For me, I know that my lack of trust definitely damaged the relationship, in lots of ways. But it was an extreme lack of trust (grounded in the realities of being deceived by my BP--which I know you can relate to.) Distrust born out of betrayal is different than a general sense of wariness. It sounds like you're experiencing both.


The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek. -Joseph Campbell

Posts: 37 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: United States
BaxtersBFF
♂ 26859
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 7:54 PM, April 27th (Sunday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I was going to go into a convoluted story about my own trust issues, but decided to ask if you've really determined this is actually about trust? Or is it something else?

Do people trust you? Do you trust yourself?


WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
BrokenButTrying
♀ 42111
Member # 42111
Default  Posted: 1:46 AM, April 28th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yes, I think this stems back to FOO stuff. I knew a lot of very adult stuff at a very young age, I didn't trust the adults in my life. Things got worse as I got older.

People trust me, yes. My A was completely out of character. Do I trust myself? Before my A I did. Obviously my self trust has taken a huge hit, I'm in repair but I will heal.


Me - 27
Him - 27
Madhatters

My Ddays - Jan 2010 & 12/04/14
His Dday - 23/12/13

Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. I can do this.


Posts: 1261 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: UK
Topic Posts: 4

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