Neither of you are in reconcilation, just sweeping what happened under the rug. You need support. If he will not give it, line up a support system. I also strongly encourage you to see a counselor for individual counseling (IC). My IC helped me to make key decisions for myself. Your husband is only interested in himself. Not in you, your happiness or your children right now. If he still has you locked out of his accounts, do not assume he and OW are not still together.
Read on the 180 for YOUR healing. I also strongly encourage you to see a lawyer. Find out your rights...to include worse case scenario if you do have leukemia. You have got to protect yourself and your children.
My heart goes out for you. I can not imagine the pain you are feeling. His comment about still being with you to equal loving you is crap too...he knows what he is saying. He is avoiding the situation and is trying to keep you quiet.
Keep posting! Support being sent to you!
You need to be here. We got your back and will offer as much support as needed; however, we will give it to u straight when you are making decisions that are destructive to u. Putting up with his abuse is not healthy.
I am so sorry about your doctor visit. I pray for the miracle you need to heal and find joy.
You are in the fight for your health now in a serious way. You are #1 now. Noone else.
As tests get done for you, can you find a meditation group? Someone to do Reiki for you? Reiki is a therapeutic touch mind-body healing technique.
The cobweb of infidelity pulls at us for some time. Although I managed to not lose weight the first year out, I have had a slew of health things that developed later as a result of A aftermath and other difficult issues, and know they're related to stress that has been hard for me to get under control.
Sending lots of prayers your way.
I hope that your test results come out well.
So sorry to see that your here. I need to say your husband is an arse. I'm sorry to say it, Being a "good husband" and "good father" go hand in hand. He is, by example showing your kids how you should be treated. That is not positive.
Sorry about your health news.. Some advice given to me near he start of this journey. Focus only on what you can control. Eat when you can, sleep, drink plenty of water. Do not neglect your health.. Especially in this time. I know this is hard.. Try not to go "worse case scenario" with regard to your health....take each day as it comes.
Read the 180at the top of the forum... Work out exactly what you want. If you want to R.. Work on the terms of it and let WH know. If you want to S or D Think logistically how that will work. Work out what you want... And Don't be afraid to demand it. Being alone is better than being with a self centred moron, who cannot tell his wife he loves her when she needs to hear it.
I got very little support and my WH complained that I was inappropriately freaked out about my health scares and he was irritated that I wasn't focusing on him or our problems..
My reaction was that I thought he was being selfish/self centered and I lost any respect I had for him, which wasn't much by that time..
You are doing all you can one step at a time..You have to focus on you and your health.. Try to get your health out of the crapper, before you focus on marriage..
It may turn out that getting away from your WH for good will save your health and life...
Your WH is supposed to make life easier for you and show that he cares and that he is concerned for you and your wellbeing...
Just because the results of your tests aren't in yet doesn't mean that your WH gets to minimize or deny the presence of your very real and serious health scare..