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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Divorce/Separation :
Whew - exhausted.

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 Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 12:00 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Another weekend left to fend for myself with this house and yard. That stinkin yard! I wanted to stay in my house to keep things as stable as possible for the kids, but this yard is killing me. I also realized how much was neglected last summer when we were in the throes of post D Day.

In other news, I am a yard badass. It looks awesome out there.

Can someone bring me some Aleve? I can't move.

I have to admit though, while I was doing all this stuff I was stewing on how I shouldn't HAVE to be doing this alone. I shouldn't HAVE to be taking care of the house, the kids, the finances, working full time, etc and I realized I am in a new stage - resentment. Another divorced friend called in the middle of her meltdown to express the exact same thing - her resentment at being left to handle everything alone. It sucks, and I hate it.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

posts: 1175   ·   registered: May. 3rd, 2013
id 6776215
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inconnu ( member #24518) posted at 1:01 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

resentment at being left to handle everything alone.

This is probably the last issue to linger for me. I did not sign up to be a single person homeowner. Every time there's an issue with the house or yard, it pushes that button for me. I'm getting much better at shrugging it off, though. I just keep reminding myself how much better off I am now, despite having to deal with crap I don't want to do.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

posts: 13294   ·   registered: Jun. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
id 6776275
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Williesmom ( member #22870) posted at 1:03 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Uh,....my WXH was such a lazy POS that the only thing that changed when he left was....less laundry.

Seriously. With that said, I've been doing all of the yard work and maintenance for years, and I'm tired of it also.

I thought the same thing as I laid under a farm tractor for the annual oil change. I'm just tired of it.

You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister. -George Costanza
There is a special place in hell for women who don't help other women. - Madeleine Albright

posts: 9299   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2009   ·   location: Western PA
id 6776280
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 1:59 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

On the other hand--you are kicking ass doing it alone, even though it's hard! Be proud of yourself.

(((Triple trouble)))

I'm sure the yard looks awesome

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6776345
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deena ( member #27275) posted at 3:13 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Like Williesmom the only thing that will change will be less laundry and doing what I want with everything else. My WH is "at work" 6:30 am to at least 7:30pm 6 days a week. Then comes home to eat and watch sports for the rest of his time.

I won't feel any extra work.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's
better to leave them broken than to hurt
yourself putting it back together.



posts: 3268   ·   registered: Jan. 18th, 2010   ·   location: Canada
id 6776427
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StillLivin ( member #40229) posted at 3:55 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Uh,....my WXH was such a lazy POS that the only thing that changed when he left was....less laundry.

This except for the laundry. He usually did his own. BUT, I won't have to clean something, him mess it up 5 minutes later, and me constantly going back and cleaning again.

Now, I clean or dust something once, and it doesn't have to be cleaned again until dust settles a week or two later!

TT good for you getting that yard lookin snazzy!

FTG, you got this. And it's a great work out too! Getting the house looking good for sale, check; getting toned and sexy, check!!!

"Bitch please a good man can't be stolen." ROFLMAO - SBB: 7/2/2014

posts: 6242   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6776457
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Bluebird26 ( member #36445) posted at 11:42 AM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Yeah don't miss the laundry or cleaning up his royal highness either!

I actually used to do all the outside work as well but now I am working more hours so just don't have time to do it anymore. I splurged and got someone in to the mowing and edging. It's well worth the $30 it costs me and saves me 3 or so hours.

Me: BW

Best thing I gained in my divorce - my freedom.

Life's good.

posts: 1530   ·   registered: Aug. 12th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6776656
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nekorb ( member #40306) posted at 12:30 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

:::sending virtual aleve:::

Good for you for getting that handled!!! I'll bet the yard looks great.

I totally hear you in the doing things alone issue. It isn't that I can't do it, it's that I wanted someone to share this stuff - LIFE- with.

I hope you treated yourself to a cold drink while you lounged in your lawn chair admiring your work.

Me: BS 44; Him: WH 47 M - 22 Years
D-day: 7/2013; D filed 7/2014; Divorced 7-27-16
...the WS affair starts off in a dreamland where everything is all Golly, Wow! and Meant To Be! and Soul Mates drop from the trees to frolic in the mist. -devotedman

posts: 5796   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2013
id 6776678
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