You are important and you matter. Your feelings matter. Your voice matters. Your story matters. Your life matters. Always.
There is a LEO thread in the I Can Relate forum. It's not very active, but it's there.
My X is a CO-has been for 15 years-and was NYPD before he was injured and had to retire. I can certainly relate to your situation. Please feel free to PM if you need help or support with anything.
Me: FBS (no longer betrayed nor a spouse)-62
D-day: 2007 (two years before finding SI)
S: 6/2010; D: 3/2011