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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

Divorce/Separation :
19 years

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 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 1:17 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Hi today is my 19 year anniversary. Please pray for me to b strong as i am feeling very somber

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6776702
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ThrownAwayTwice ( member #43226) posted at 1:27 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

((Justinpaintoday))

Today I my anniversary too. First since this all went down...

My heart goes out to you.

BW early 30's

Separated March 2014
Kintsukuroi: the art of repairing broken pottery with gold and silver laquer, and understanding that it is more beautiful for having been broken

posts: 68   ·   registered: Apr. 25th, 2014
id 6776711
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 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 1:34 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

U too

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6776714
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freeatlast72 ( member #42758) posted at 1:52 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

((justinpaintoday))

Try to stay busy, it will pass. The first one is always the hardest.

Mine was last Thursday, I stayed busy with work, daughter and went out for a drink with girlfriends.

Thinking of you....

BS:42(me)
Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years
DIVORCED!!!

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

posts: 137   ·   registered: Mar. 13th, 2014   ·   location: North Carolina
id 6776729
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 2:49 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

My rock bottom was the 10th anniversary of our meeting - 3m after S. I can't imagine what 19 years would feel like.

The firsts are the very hardest - we S on our 8th wedding anniversary so the 9th was a celebration of the end of my year of firsts.

Be gentle with yourself - do what you feel like doing. If it's staying in and crying your heart out do it, if it's going out and being around those you love and who make you laugh do it.

There's no right or wrong here. Just know it won't always hurt this much.

(((JIPT)))

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6776785
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 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 3:34 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Thanks. I can tell you I feel blessed for the 18 good years and pained by the final 1. I will struggle detaching today but am trying to avoid texting and limiting contact.

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6776849
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WeepingBuddhist ( member #39139) posted at 4:34 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Keep counting your blessings.

You've made it this far, you can make it through today.

Me: BS 46
Him: unimportant
D Day:4-27-13
DIVORCED!!! 2-20-14

posts: 978   ·   registered: Apr. 30th, 2013   ·   location: BFE
id 6776939
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norabird ( member #42092) posted at 5:50 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

(((((JIPT))))

I will be thinking of you today in hopes of sending a little strength. Mourning what was lost is fully appropriate and healthy. Just remember that tomorrow will be a new day.

Sit. Feast on your life.

posts: 4324   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2014   ·   location: NYC
id 6777062
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Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 5:55 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

It's really hard, I know. My XW called me crying this past December on our 11th anniversary, hinting at making amends. It just made me sadder. A whole life thrown away.

But I moved past it and you will too. I'm sure it will get less difficult every year, as "deaths" always do. Stay strong. You did all you could do; you fought the good fight.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6777074
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 justinpaintoday (original poster member #42858) posted at 6:04 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Will need a 2x4. Sent text stating i had no regrets. Shit. Only one this will hurt is me. Wow didnt think today would hirt tjis wicked. Its a stinger

I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.

posts: 700   ·   registered: Mar. 22nd, 2014
id 6777092
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Gemini71 ( member #40115) posted at 6:56 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

My 19 Anniversary is next month, a week before our next court date. I had really hoped to have this resolved before then so I wouldn't have to go through this.

Sending prayers and positive thoughts to you. I just hope I can do as well as you are when my turn comes around.

DSs 21, 16, 12
About my Ex:
IDK
IDC
IDGAF

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

posts: 3406   ·   registered: Jul. 30th, 2013   ·   location: Illinois, USA
id 6777197
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MadeOfScars ( member #42231) posted at 7:02 PM on Monday, April 28th, 2014

Mine was back in March. I gave crickets and also received them. It's just another day now.

The firsts always are hardest, but like those before, you'll make it through this one. I went out with some co-workers after work on my "anniversary" and had a great time. I barely thought about it. Then again, I had already put valentine's day and her birthday behind me (both of which I didn't handle as well) so believe us all when we say this - it does get easier.

Sorry you're hurting today. Try to find something you want to do to take your mind off what today is. Continue to post here as well.

"Incredible change happens in your life when you decide to take control of what you do have power over instead of craving control over what you don’t." - Steve Maraboli

posts: 3219   ·   registered: Jan. 27th, 2014   ·   location: Texas
id 6777210
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