I have been sick, allergies killed me, upper respiratory infection, body aches...the whole 9. But I cannot be sidelined by that, life goes on, work and school must still be in your schedule...fine ok.
Well, my son has returned to the home, before it was just my 18 DD and I, now with my 20 DS. I had only a few hundred $'s saved for when I will have to eventually move out, well, there was no food in the home. So I cashed in my life savings and stocked up on food for us.
It had been nice...haven't heard nor seen of the STBEH. Then stupid me, gets on fb and now I see why, the softball professional had a tournament this weekend (2 losses and he was done...love karma), and followed up by a bowling fundraiser for his new softball team. How he is affording this, I don't know...he lost his job 2 weeks ago (22 years on the job, and he can't see he's wasting his lifes work away for "fun") He sleeps "whereever I put my head down for the night" and told the Judge he's living "with a generous friend."
And now here I am boo whooing, over the fact that I am scrounging pennies to feed my children and I, while he's out having the time of his life, The family and I were the fault...he held him back. Jealous maybe?...he never took me anywhere, never did anything with me, so yes I may be jealous. But dammit, I have had nothing but sadness since this started when I was sick in bed recovering from surgeries years ago. All because some young skank made the moves on him and he fell hook line and sinker!
How do you become happy and just not let this affect you anymore??? I thought with the 3 years of false reconciling and now the divorce under way, I would be far from the mess I am today. I just want to run far away, put this so far behind me!