Well, my son has returned to the home, before it was just my 18 DD and I, now with my 20 DS. I had only a few hundred $'s saved for when I will have to eventually move out, well, there was no food in the home. So I cashed in my life savings and stocked up on food for us.
It had been nice...haven't heard nor seen of the STBEH. Then stupid me, gets on fb and now I see why, the softball professional had a tournament this weekend (2 losses and he was done...love karma), and followed up by a bowling fundraiser for his new softball team. How he is affording this, I don't know...he lost his job 2 weeks ago (22 years on the job, and he can't see he's wasting his lifes work away for "fun") He sleeps "whereever I put my head down for the night" and told the Judge he's living "with a generous friend."
And now here I am boo whooing, over the fact that I am scrounging pennies to feed my children and I, while he's out having the time of his life, The family and I were the fault...he held him back. Jealous maybe?...he never took me anywhere, never did anything with me, so yes I may be jealous. But dammit, I have had nothing but sadness since this started when I was sick in bed recovering from surgeries years ago. All because some young skank made the moves on him and he fell hook line and sinker!
How do you become happy and just not let this affect you anymore??? I thought with the 3 years of false reconciling and now the divorce under way, I would be far from the mess I am today. I just want to run far away, put this so far behind me!
Also, look into your local food pantry! And forgive yourself for the time spent in false R. At least now you really know he is not worth your time. Sometimes it takes a loss of extra time to really understand that.
Then, after D-day, I'm down at social services trying to get WIC and food stamps so I can get formula to feed my baby, and he's off going on vacation with the OW, meanwhile he is claiming to be broke.
I struggled for years and years. I'm finally starting to get out of the hole. I don't waste my money on stupid shit, unlike some WS's.
I still have a hard time with it, with the unfairness of it. They say with time it gets better, but I don't think it ever goes away completely.
Marriages that start this way, stepping over the bodies of loved ones as the giddy couple walks down the aisle, are not likely to last.
[This message edited by 7yrsflushed at 1:10 PM, April 28th (Monday)]
As for my children, my son came home because he too was in a bad relationship and is in a pile of debt to climb out himself. He understands and will be helping out soon. So he says.
As for my daugther, she is just lazy. During all of this I have given her an ultimatum of getting a job and getting into community college, just like I am doing. She hasn't budged from her room. I have tried everything with her, taken away electronic devices, internet, etc. So she's just waiting until I have to move and Daddy moves back. My son is waiting for this too, neither of them plan to move with me. They don't like the rules and regulations I put down or bitch about. LOL
Just me and my killer chiwaaahwahhhha are ditching this place and heading to better things!
Thanks everyone for your support...been a shitty day, but I made it through again, even with my surprise anatomy final given today