((michman))
Sorry you find yourself here. It does suck, and you have every right to be pissed off. Life as you know it has been highjacked and totaled by someone you thought you could trust. Damn right you are pissed.
I'm not very good at 2x4s, but here goes. You said this:
I'm pissed I'm still living with a person I no longer love. I'm pissed I wasted 6 months hoping for the R and got nothing but continual disrespect, lying, and deception from WS.
Ask yourself how much more time you are willing to waste. How many more days, weeks, months are you willing to spend tangled up with someone you, in your own words, no longer love?
None of her effort (or lack thereof) towards R, or Oscar-worthy attempts at faking R matter at all, if you are done. If this has killed your love for her then that's it and that's your answer. Don't feel bad about it either. For many an affair is a deal breaker. My XWH didn't want R but I wouldn't have attempted it anyway. His infidelity was a deal breaker for me. In that moment, the man I loved died and a cruel and heartless stranger stood in front of me. Someone I didn't trust, love or even like. It was over.
And so my friend, if its over, then don't give her any more days. No more weeks and months of life that belong to YOU. It sounds harsh when people say "cut your losses and move on" but sometimes that's what you have to do. You didn't kill the marriage, SHE did. But it's up to you how long you want to drag the dead carcass behind you. She's clearly too weak to cut free, you'll have to be the strong one and do it.
DO NOT feel guilty about being the one to file for divorce. She is the one that drove the bus to this ugly point. There is nothing wrong with you saying that you want to get off. I mean really, what other choice are you left with here?
I know it's hard with your DD... we had no kids so I can't help you there. Hopefully some of the wonderful dads here can advise you, and reassure you that it will be okay, and that the time you'll have with your DD after divorcing will be better time, more quality time... because it will be just for the two of you and not muddled up with all this other misery and drama. She deserves that quality time together, and so do you.
I'm not in Michigan either, but we did file a DIY co-petitioner divorce, and it was pretty easy. Sorry I can't be more help on that either.
((michman))
I hope this was some help to you. Sending strength. You'll get through this.