I have also learned (or I should say, had it confirmed, as I knew he'd be doing the old "smear campaign" as he has told me TO MY FACE about lies he told about me in the past) that he has told people I was fooling around on him
Finally, he is harassing my SIL and she and my bros small children - he has cornered her at the gas station on 2 separate occasions now and even went so far as to tell my 4yr. old nephew he's his uncle!!! This POS never gave two shits about these kids before. He has stayed pretty clear of my brother and his wife always as he tried to sleep w/my brother's first wife. Yes, he tried to pin my former SIL against a wall after kicking OUR children outside to play when he went to pick them up after she'd watched them one summer day when I was working about 10 years ago. Needless to say my brother is LIVID but SIL does NOT want me to say ANYTHING to the POS as she figures this is exactly what he wants - to get a reaction from me as the NC is driving him nuts.
Finally, the POS has been calling, leaving voicemail, and texting me repeatedly for the last week or so. About anything and everything. Most of it NONSENSE that I have already answered in the past. I keep ignoring him - have only answered, very briefly 2x. But it is getting to me. Please talk me of the ledge peeps because I feel like I'm going to EXPLODE!!
Let me just also add my oldest son is graduating in May so I am also trying to get open house, announcements, and all that shit organized too. And did I mention I'm moving at the end of June?? Oh, and it's been raining here for 3 days and got home from work today to find water pouring through the fan in my bathroom!!
Ok. End rant. At least for now. Thanks to all who stuck w/me this far as I know this is long
I'm sorry. When it rains, it pours. It will get better. Ignore his ass.
Your Bro and SIL may want to take out an RO on him. Too bad you can't ban the POS from DS's graduation.
Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
I'm sending you tons of strength, because this shit will bring you to your knees. And I'm sending you mojo to get a freaking break already!
This is it. The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of, you and I.
― The Doctor
The BEST thing I ever did was take a friends advice to get a pinching buddy. Every time XH pissed me off I let loose on that thing.
Before that I was beating tree trunks with a nerf bat ( I didn't want to hurt the trees) I broke the bat and switched to pool noodles!
Seriously I've never been a violent person, I needed some way to release the rage. The pressure had me jumping at people for small things. It was causing my personality to change. The worst part of it - I was resembling the person he was telling everyone I was.
I couldn't let it go, I had to let it out in order to let it go.
I would also rip my cardboard to shreds rather than just flattening it. I was all about saving space in the recycle bin.
When I couldn't get to the recycling center, I used to beat the crap out of the mattress. And I also would "fluff" the couch pillows rather vigorously on a regular basis.
FTC! Don't give him the satisfaction that he is getting to you. He is such an ass!
I hear physical exertion works wonders. I would get a broom and sweep the driveway over and over again until I was worn out. Pushing bags are great too.
Is there anyone who can help you out? With anything?
My ipad does a lot of crazy typos.
Williesmom: Ha am I correct to assume the pun was intended?? Cause it was definitely pouring rain in my bathroom - however, on a positive note it got me out of an obligation to go to a board meeting tonight so I could also catch up on some laundry!! (You made me grin - thanks) - I will continue to ignore his ass because I have learned the truth for me has always held true NC = No New Hurts + BONUS: it is clearly driving him nuts
StillLivin: Thanks for hearing and understanding my need to rant/vent and for the hugs - back atcha ((((hugs)))) for whatever chaos you are also experiencing...
Gemini: I worry about my bro as he has struggled w/his temper/anger and is in such a good place right now I DO NOT WANT him to do something stupid but so far he's also gone NC w/my STBXPOS - SIL on the other hand is a SPITFIRE and can absolutely hold her own - if Cpt. Dumbass continues I have the utmost confidence she'll "handle" him appropriately - did I mention what a smart/crafty/clever gal my SIL is?? If he keeps it up her reaction is bound to be quite entertaining... Oh how I wish I could ban him from graduation but this NPD ass is surely not going to be kept from a moment to "shine" as father-of-the-year at a public event. However, I am hosting my own separate open-house after graduation which is also pissing him off. Since informing him he is free to make his own plans with/for DS and his family (none of them speak to me in spite of being part of their family for the last 20 years but really lord only knows what they've been told and really the POS is a product of his environment so for most of his fam it's really no big loss to me as they are quite f*cked up anyway) - anyhoo... he is very angry and pissy and I have received NUMEROUS texts asking me to just invite his family, he'll pay for half, he won't come, etc., etc., etc. Then the guilt texts... i.e. how can you do this to DS, this is supposed to be about him, not us, blah, blah, blah I've talked w/DS about this, he's fine. POS just wants me to do all the work, look like the bitch, and he can tell everyone how he paid for party and then mean old bitchy me wouldn't even let him come well sorry, I'm done playing that game. I'll have my party, you have your own (and no, I won't be your personal assistant/event planner/scapegoat/whatever - you FIRED ME - remember??) It's called DIVORCE. Welcome to reality douchebag. - Sorry, guess more venting was needed there
NIK and Kajem: I nearly cried reading your responses... I REALLY REALLY need to find an outlet for my stress/anger/hurt/rage. Thank you for your suggestions - I will be finding something to DESTROY before I explode. (I've got a few ideas in mind and will definitely keep you posted on the funnins' )
Caregiver and Tripletrouble: Thank you too for your support and hugs - no glass shards yet but coming soon to a theater near you... (ok, not near you but you get my drift )
And finally, made some tuna melts for a quick supper tonight and then spent an hour visiting/"bullshitting" with my amazing kiddos in the kitchen while I cooked (ha) and we ate. And I thought to myself this message to the POS "This is what you miss out on you selfish fucking loser. You chose/choose a variety of worthless whores to try and fill your giant hole in your soul over these beautiful amazing young people we created. How sad for you. Cause they are truly wonderful and I am truly blessed and you are unbelievably stupid. And truly pathetic."
"This is what you miss out on you selfish fucking loser. You chose/choose a variety of worthless whores to try and fill your giant hole in your soul over these beautiful amazing young people we created. How sad for you. Cause they are truly wonderful and I am truly blessed and you are unbelievably stupid. And truly pathetic."
I totally understand where you are coming from in regards to asking for help from friends IRL, it's hard, we've just been doing it all for sooooo long all by ourselves. But learn to ask for help, maybe just once a week.
Me -BS (49)
DS 21, DD 17