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Co-parenting with an idiot

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newlysingle posted 4/28/2014 22:44 PM

So the Gnat had the kids this past weekend. On Friday just before he picked them up, DS was pointing to his ear saying "ouch". Now, DS has very few words and likes to say ouch a lot so that I will kiss his boo-boos. Although, he has never pointed to his ear before.

When the Gnat came, I mentioned that DS had pointed ouch at his ear and to just keep on eye on it in case he might have an ear infection (he had just gotten over a bad cold). Fast forward to Sunday at drop off, the Gnat says nothing about any illness and takes off. Sunday night, I put DS to bed, but I hear him waking up frequently until he starts crying at 10 pm. I go in and feel that he is burning up with a 103 degree temp. I give him Tylenol, but he whines and cries until 2:30 am.

In the morning, I mention to DD that DS is sick and will be going to the doctor soon. She says "oh, he had a fever all weekend at dad's house too". WTF?! Of course DS has an ear infection.

Well, I text the Gnat today (per our divorce decree, we have to notify each other of doctor's visits due to illness with the kids). "Just to let you know that DS was up all night miserable with a high temp and ear infection. Went to the doc today and got antibiotics. DD mentioned that he had a fever at your this weekend? I'm upset that you failed to mention this at drop off. Especially when I told you to please look out for any signs of illness".

So he responds, "I didn't think he was that sick. Yeah, he had a fever, but only at night both nights. He acted fine during the day". Ugh, seriously moron? It wouldn't have been such a big deal had I not mentioned my concern to him at drop off. How am I going to handle another 16.5 years of this crap?

SBB posted 4/28/2014 23:18 PM

Deep breaths - that's how.

I got a call from daycare about 20m after he dropped her off one Mon morning about my then 2.5 year old having a 40C/104F temp. She was miserable and listless when he dropped her off. He said she was tired because she didn't sleep well.

I pick her up, take her to the Drs and it's a double ear infection. Later that day my big girl tells me little girl vomited in her bed every night (so Fri, Sat and Sun nights) at her dad's. He didn't mention any of it to me.

I was so upset - my poor little girl in pain like that without relief or treatment made me want to rip his face off.

Her DC careers were mad too when I told them why she hadn't slept well.

I confronted via SMS and tore him a new one. I too got "she was fine" etc. I ask if he even checked her temp AT ALL? No. I called him everything under the sun. He kept saying she's was fine. It didn't do anything - he still doesn't pay heed to their health.

My 6 y/o came home with a bad nail infection after a week with him. It was big/sore/red - he told her it would go away.

Another time he sent her to summer vacation care pool day without a rashie or sunscreen (she is very fair skinned) - she told me that Fri night that she was sunburned - he sent her again without a rashie or sunscreen on the Tue. When I picked her up on the Wed she was wincing about her shoulder and couldn't hold her backpack. The careers told me she had a bad burn. I looked and it was awful. About a 10cm patch on the top of her shoulder. I almost burst into tears.

Dr confirmed 2nd degree burn - she was with me for that week so I treated it. When I informed him all he said was "it didn't seem that bad".

I'm collecting all of this info in case something worse happens and I need proof of how lax his care is.

If I think the girls are off I ask him to take their temps and keep a record of the readings should either of us need that info to take them to the Dr. I can't make him do it but that doesn't stop me from trying to ensure my kids very basic needs are met.

FTG. Fuck them to hell. I hate this shit.

[This message edited by SBB at 11:20 PM, April 28th (Monday)]

StillLivin posted 4/29/2014 00:22 AM

Oh honey, I'm so sorry for your worry and his poor ear.
He is an idjat. But it won't be 16.5 years. Soon baby boy will be able to tell you with words.
Sometimes these WS are so horrible...we already know they are selfish.
(((newlysingle and DS)))

Kajem posted 4/29/2014 10:54 AM

Keep documenting and don't stop!

When dd4 dislocated 2 fingers right before going to his house for 2 weeks, I took her to urgent care. Got a diagnosis of dislocated digits with instructions to see an orthopod when swelling went down about 4-5 days. She might need surgery so don't wait long! I had urgent care print up a copy for XH.

Come Tuesday he's yelling (via email) that it's my responsibility to get her care since her injury happened on my parenting time... And he wasn't gonna get her care! I called the urgent care doc and read him XH's email. Doc called DCF and filed a report. Then called XH and informed him that he expected to hear from whatever place XH took dd4 for care wanting her records, and if he did not get her in by Friday ANOTHER CALL following up the first call will be made to DCF. He was obligated to inform when parents were neglecting or abusing kids!

She got the care she needed and did not need surgery.

And XH was pissed. Too f***ing bad!

SBB posted 4/29/2014 19:25 PM

And XH was pissed.

Amazing that this was his reaction - not concern for his child.

Thank god for mandatory reporting - we have it here too. I haven't yet had enough cause to seek it out but I sure feel better knowing it is there.

I do hate it that it has to be something very serious before anything is done though.

finallymefirst posted 4/29/2014 19:25 PM

These fucking idiots!!!...sighing, smh..How the hell are we the ones without credibility when they are the lying fucking cheaters?? If I say that my child might not be feeling well and to please monitor the situation... just fucking do it.

Kajem that was brilliant letting the authorities handle it.

SBB, he sounds dangerous or dumb, or drunk or just plain stupid!!! I don't know anymore!!!

Sorry for the vent.

MissMouseMo posted 4/29/2014 21:20 PM

"And XH was pissed. Too f***ing bad!"

I just see that as a side benefit, but that's just me.

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