SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

alleyk posted 4/28/2014 23:17 PM

Can anyone share their experience with divorcing in CA? It's a no-fault state, but has the A actually affected any decisions anyway? Has anyone handled the D with minimal representation or on their own?

Harriet posted 4/28/2014 23:27 PM

My ex and I used a mediator and it worked out well, but my ex felt guilty so he was genreous. The affair did not affect anything at all. It wasn't even brought up or asked about.

woundedby2 posted 4/29/2014 01:09 AM

Absolutely no-fault. But my L did make mention of his "affair partner" a couple of times in my declaration.

My D was long and drawn-out. I was divorcing a narcissist, so there was not going in without representation. 2 years of litigation.

If you can get your stbx to negotiate with a mediator or just the two of you, that is the best way to go. The litigated route ends up costing tens of thousands of dollars.

KLinNoCA posted 4/29/2014 13:31 PM

I divorced in CA as well. Took over 5 years to finish due to his NPD and refusal to provide discovery repeatedly.
The ex, after my attorney provided detailed emails, dating sites he was on, emails of his sex-capades to the court, was made to pay all his own credit card debt due to him using them to date other women during our marriage.

It can be done....your attorney needs to go balls out on it, though, and provide documentation of his using marital funds to pay for the affairs.