Cheating Hurt by Infidelity
Betrayal Wayward Donations lying



Find a Local Counselor

The Healing Library


Contact Us
In Association with
Infidelity -
- Forum Archives

like us on facebook
You are not logged in. Login here or register.
Newest Member: Howtotrust (61551)

User Topic: Omg state refund intercepted and $$ is racking up!!!
♀ 16958
Member # 16958
Angry  Posted: 2:26 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So since CA is a community property state filing taxes separately is a PITA. So, we filed together. We owed a lot on federal but were owed a refund on state so I told him I'd get the state refund and apply it to the federal, then he'd owe me 1/2 the balance. He agreed and I didn't mind because I figured if he didn't pay if deduct it from his settlement payment. Today I got a notice most of the state refund was intercepted by the child support court that deals with the Snake's OC! I thought he was out of arrears since a size able amount of our savings was already taken for this a while back and now it strikes AGAIN!

He also asked me for $2500 the other day. I went ahead after clearly documenting the loan because, again, I'm expecting to write him a check when my default goes through anyway and was thinking to soften the blow.

Now I'm getting nervous. Is someone going to tell me I can't simply deduct what he owes me from his settlement and I will be out tens of thousands of dollars because of this man?

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!

Posts: 949 | Registered: Nov 2007 | From: Northern California
♂ 41294
Member # 41294
Default  Posted: 2:55 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


I think you're at the point where you really should see a lawyer. Continue documenting it. A L will fight for you and bring it up to the judge in a businesslike, matter-of-fact way.

During my temporary orders court appointment STBX wanted to collect back support retroactive January. I had a perfect relation of what I paid of her house (mortgage, bills and such), the source of the funds (to prove it was my separate property), and the half and half portions, which proved that she actually owed me money.

A L can help you arrange to get that paid back, either "in lieu of support" or as part of the 50/50 settlement.

Don't be nervous, he definitely owes half of those taxes. And now he owes you. Don't file together again, and make sure during your D negotiations you agree on who files the deduction for DS, and make him agree in writing to pay half medical expenses.

Now for my next trick... I need to find out a way to make it more efficient for my L to collect so it takes less attorney's fees. I figure if I have my L contact hers, so it costs her L time as well, she'll start actually paying back regularly.

It's so sad and so stupid for us, to see the waste in L representation, but make a cold calculation of how much it costs you in your time and aggravation, plus what you recover, and the L's hourly rate. You may find you come out ahead.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

Master of my Fate, Captain of my Soul.
XBH and healing. D final March 2016
Her: Doesn't matter anymore.
DS13 Severe SN. DD11 Awesome

Posts: 1012 | Registered: Nov 2013 | From: California
♂ 16953
Member # 16953
Default  Posted: 4:24 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Cut off the tit my friend. The guy is a confirmed liar and cheat, did you really expect him to be honest with this one ? And make no mistake about it, he was notified about his arrears many times. He simply chose to ignore it because he figures he will have you pay it. And you did !!!!!

You cant eat soup with chopsticks.

Posts: 6851 | Registered: Nov 2007
♀ 29203
Member # 29203
Default  Posted: 10:53 AM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very gently here, stop giving him money!!! He is trying to bankrupt you. Close the bank, but when you do close the bank you will see a whole side of him that you never knew could exist.


Posts: 1069 | Registered: Aug 2010 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 4

Return to Forum This Topic is Archived
© 2002 - 2017 All Rights Reserved.