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So since CA is a community property state filing taxes separately is a PITA. So, we filed together. We owed a lot on federal but were owed a refund on state so I told him I'd get the state refund and apply it to the federal, then he'd owe me 1/2 the balance. He agreed and I didn't mind because I figured if he didn't pay if deduct it from his settlement payment. Today I got a notice most of the state refund was intercepted by the child support court that deals with the Snake's OC! I thought he was out of arrears since a size able amount of our savings was already taken for this a while back and now it strikes AGAIN!

He also asked me for $2500 the other day. I went ahead after clearly documenting the loan because, again, I'm expecting to write him a check when my default goes through anyway and was thinking to soften the blow.

Now I'm getting nervous. Is someone going to tell me I can't simply deduct what he owes me from his settlement and I will be out tens of thousands of dollars because of this man?

(((careerlady)))

I think you're at the point where you really should see a lawyer. Continue documenting it. A L will fight for you and bring it up to the judge in a businesslike, matter-of-fact way.

During my temporary orders court appointment STBX wanted to collect back support retroactive January. I had a perfect relation of what I paid of her house (mortgage, bills and such), the source of the funds (to prove it was my separate property), and the half and half portions, which proved that she actually owed me money.

A L can help you arrange to get that paid back, either "in lieu of support" or as part of the 50/50 settlement.

Don't be nervous, he definitely owes half of those taxes. And now he owes you. Don't file together again, and make sure during your D negotiations you agree on who files the deduction for DS, and make him agree in writing to pay half medical expenses.

Now for my next trick... I need to find out a way to make it more efficient for my L to collect so it takes less attorney's fees. I figure if I have my L contact hers, so it costs her L time as well, she'll start actually paying back regularly.

It's so sad and so stupid for us, to see the waste in L representation, but make a cold calculation of how much it costs you in your time and aggravation, plus what you recover, and the L's hourly rate. You may find you come out ahead.

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.

Cut off the tit my friend. The guy is a confirmed liar and cheat, did you really expect him to be honest with this one ? And make no mistake about it, he was notified about his arrears many times. He simply chose to ignore it because he figures he will have you pay it. And you did !!!!!

Very gently here, stop giving him money!!! He is trying to bankrupt you. Close the bank, but when you do close the bank you will see a whole side of him that you never knew could exist.