Need to get this out:
XH and I had a post-D mediation session regarding some minor parenting time/custody issues with DD8. We already had one prior mediation session a few weeks ago that went well.
XH had proposed some changes that would impact my time with DD. I was already on edge due to stress at work and overall malaise about how my life has turned out.
So I ended up losing it during the session. I mean, full-on tears with snorting ( ). They were tears of frustration. Every time I think things are settled between XH and I, he throws a wrench into the situation. Then I have to deal with the fallout and anxiousness that it causes DD8.
I think both XH and the mediator were taken aback.
After I composed myself, we were able to resolve issues so that we don't have to go back for another session.
I just had so much pent up anger and hurt and frustration that has never come out in front of XH since probably the D (which was 4 years ago).
XH and I ended up speaking after the session. I stupidly revealed some emotion yet again. In the midst of my weakness I also revealed some minor strategic information that would affect child support. I'm so fucking disappointed in myself.
What a craptastic morning.