I triggered by woman that resembled OW even though we moved to another state. I saw them all the time....abou 5'6, short dark hair, wearing scrubs. Petty generic, but enough to make me trigger. In all honesty it took about 3 years, for that to go away. Now, I don't even notice.
I felt the way you described about the time frame you are at. The feelings got better between years 2-3. In all honesty, my feelings are just started really return. I stayed through it, because of the love I had prior to the A and his efforts. It was very difficult, but I am glad I continued. I still have some troubles, and would lie if I said I didn't. However, we are gaining ground. We are rebuilding our relationship. It will never be what we had, but it is still good.
IC could be beneficial to you as you work through your feelings for him. This may still be a deal breaker for you. If it is, that is ok too. It is what works best for you! My IC really helped me.