As far as your current friends, have you talked with them about this?
3 boys: 10.5 years, 9 years, and 8 months
[This message edited by Angeles85 at 3:24 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]
Give your new friends some time. Maybe suggest to do something outside of the meetup?
Keep meeting people - I am thinking I should step away from them because I am use to different type of friends.
My old friend and I were discussing this today and she said maybe they don't know how. That is a true statement.
Keep meeting new people but remember you are the most important one.
[This message edited by fireproof at 6:47 PM, April 29th (Tuesday)]
I have found that friends vary in what I can expect from them. I have some who are incredibly supportive and are always there for me (and vice versa) and some who are more flighty. I'll call the latter to go out, but not to share much about myself. I think it's nice to have that balance.
Some of my friends and I even joke about the fact that we are low maintenance friends. We may go weeks or even a month without talking, but when we see each other again, it's like old times.
Do you initiate at all? You mention that your friends were texting you right after D-Day -- what would happen if you sent a text like, "Having a rough day -- wanted to say hi" I have a few friends who do that to me, and it usually ends in me asking them to do something.
I'm sorry you're feeling down.
Married: 11 years, no kids
Character is destiny
Status: D 2011
Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron
It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling
The mourning time over your ex is necessary even when it's better to be apart. It will get better--it's still so so fresh for you. Do you read on www.baggagereclaim.co.uk at all? It can be helpful for perspective,
Also, Lordy, people in La really do hate driving to different neighborhoods! I get this complaint about friends from my SIL who lives out there. Unfortunately it just seems part of the culture that people don't go to areas they consider too far. Work around it for now,but work on those new friendships too. And take time to just be by yourself and learn to enjoy that too. There are so many lovely places to enjoy in LA, and you can get a lot from doing them solo, whether the beach or the canyons or the taco trucks!
A few others have stepped up, for which I am thankful. Especially since I had disappeared pretty much for a whole month (working on False R )
But I do think we can be overwhelming to our friends with our "stuff". Maybe they feel like they can't really help us. I do feel like my idea of letting our friends be a distraction-rather than a crutch to lean on, is healthier for the friendship. Discuss this with your friend that canceled on you. Ask her to go with you on a mental vacation from all the crap. To talk about fun stuff like you used to in happier times. It does help and she may feel more helpful to you in that way.
I did a lot of crafting in groups after DDay, once I was functional enough. It was a way of being with other women, not alone, but being really engaged in what we were doing rather than talking and listening about life's dramas. Sometimes you just want to get away from all that create a beautiful scrapbook or cards, or knit a scarf.