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He earned his 'f'

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Allornothing posted 4/29/2014 21:16 PM

My WH and I were sitting at home when one of his mates turned up in a terrible state. He looked at my husband and said "I need your help, I've made a terrible mistake, I cheated on B" and then started to tell us all of the usual WS justifications, "B was more into the kids than she was into me, I was lonely, I felt neglected, blah blah blah...

My husband sat him down, looked him in the eye, and said "Mate, you didn't make a mistake, you made a choice, and it was a really shitty one. That crap you just told me is just that. Crap. You, for whatever reason, tore B's heart to shreds, you disrespected her, you decimated her, and you feel bad. You should, you did a really shitty thing. I'll help you, but you have a shit-ton of work to do, and there's no quick fix, trust me, I tried. There's a website that helps us, its called SI. I'll get it up, and I want you to read it, and keep reading it..."

There was plenty more, including arguments from the friend, and in the end, hubby turned around and said "Ok, whatever, Mr Fog". I have to admit, I had a bit of a laugh at that one!

Just quietly, I was astounded by what hubby said, he used to be so non-confrontational, it's huge that in the last few months he has said what he thinks, and no longer hides from what he feels.

So, Mr Allornothing, here's to you, and to earning your 'f'!

MovingUpward posted 4/29/2014 21:19 PM

Way to go Mr Allornothing

RomanticInnocenc posted 4/29/2014 21:28 PM

That is so awesome! It must be so good to have it reaffirmed that he gets it like that! These stories are so important for inciting hope for us all! Thanks for sharing, it certainly gave me some! :-)

veronique12 posted 4/30/2014 08:40 AM

Love that. So happy to hear that your FWS gets it!

LdyD posted 4/30/2014 12:12 PM

That is Awesome!

tushnurse posted 4/30/2014 13:05 PM

Ah a success. Wonderful, and I think that earned f should be a "F" capitalized and all because he responded in a way many here only dream their spouse would respond like.

Skan posted 4/30/2014 16:52 PM

What a wonderful promotion!

Sal1995 posted 4/30/2014 16:57 PM

Whew, glad this is good news. "F" means "fail" in the states. Must be a good thing Down Under. Anyway, sounds like your husband has his head screwed on straight these days. I'm happy for you.

HUFI-PUFI posted 4/30/2014 17:02 PM

Allornothing - I was astounded by what hubby said ... So, Mr Allornothing, here's to you, and to earning your 'f'!

20WrongsVs1 posted 4/30/2014 17:09 PM

Sal1995: "F" means "fail" in the states.

LOL, I'm not sure if you were kidding or not, but on SI "F" means "former."

And it's a big deal. Hooray Mr. & Mrs. Allornothing!

BH gave me an "F" a few weeks ago, and I updated my signature immediately.

Sal1995 posted 4/30/2014 17:27 PM

LOL, I'm not sure if you were kidding or not, but on SI "F" means "former."

Wish I could say I was kidding 20Wrongs, but that one flew over my head I guess. Sounded like his response was getting a grade. Thanks for straightening me out.

Now I'm even happier for Allornothing!

ETA: Congrats on earning you "f", 20Wrongs

[This message edited by Sal1995 at 5:30 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]

Allornothing posted 4/30/2014 20:24 PM

Thank you all for your responses. We couldn't have done it without the collective wisdom here on SI. The support from all of you means so much to both of us.

I showed Hubby all of your responses, and he was over the moon, especially when he saw the HUFI hand clap! He was so excited about that, I thought he was gonna do a dance!!

ETA: Tushnurse, you're right, he does deserve a capital 'F', he definitely earned it.

20 Wrongs, huge congratulations on your F! After seeing hubby's reaction, I now understand how important that is to a truly remorseful former wayward. Well done, and best of luck to both of you.

[This message edited by Allornothing at 8:33 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]

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