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Tripletrouble (original poster member #39169) posted at 3:22 AM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
A while back there was a thread for those of us with poor relationships with our mothers. My own relationship was filled with anger, frustration, hurt, and guilt. In my early 20's I moved away and disengaged. I always had so much guilt. Today, almost a year into IC we landed directly on my mommy issues. My astute therapist said all of what she has heard points to my mother being borderline and she encourages me to minimize contact. It felt like a sack of bricks coming off my back. At long last a professional has acknowledged how hurtful it would be to me to keep letting her hack away at me with her histrionics and guilt trips. Yay! I'm validated.
40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Happily remarried 2018
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 6:59 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
I am glad that you are finding peace and that is leading to healing.
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 7:08 PM on Wednesday, April 30th, 2014
Isn't it a wonderful feeling when someone with the degree, or expertise can back up what you have believed to be true????
I so understand what you are saying and where you are coming from.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
Emotionalhell ( member #39902) posted at 1:06 AM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
I too understand where you are coming from. Just because they are related doesn't mean we have to be in an unhealthy relationship with them.
Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.
norabird ( member #42092) posted at 6:04 AM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
((((Triple trouble)))
That feeling of validation in IC is so, so sweet. I will never forget the feeling I had the first time I saw a good IC who said about a past relationship with a suicidal ex: 'That must have been really hard.' Those little affirmations somehow give us permission to acknowledge the weight and put it down. I'm glad you're moving toward a healthier place with your relationship to your mom because of it!!
Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 6:15 AM on Thursday, May 1st, 2014
I'm sure I participated in that thread. I'm so glad you have an IC that is helping you sort through this. 
"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom
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