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Newest Member: Brokenbuttryin (50525)

User Topic: My awesome IC gives me peace
♀ 39169
Member # 39169
Default  Posted: 9:22 PM, April 29th (Tuesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

A while back there was a thread for those of us with poor relationships with our mothers. My own relationship was filled with anger, frustration, hurt, and guilt. In my early 20's I moved away and disengaged. I always had so much guilt. Today, almost a year into IC we landed directly on my mommy issues. My astute therapist said all of what she has heard points to my mother being borderline and she encourages me to minimize contact. It felt like a sack of bricks coming off my back. At long last a professional has acknowledged how hurtful it would be to me to keep letting her hack away at me with her histrionics and guilt trips. Yay! I'm validated.

40 somethings - me BW after 20 years
D Day April 2013
Divorced November 2013
Time is a great healer but a terrible beautician.

Posts: 819 | Registered: May 2013
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:59 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I am glad that you are finding peace and that is leading to healing.


Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.

Posts: 54302 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
♀ 21101
Member # 21101
Default  Posted: 1:08 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Isn't it a wonderful feeling when someone with the degree, or expertise can back up what you have believed to be true????

I so understand what you are saying and where you are coming from.

((((and strength))))

Him: FWS
Kids: 16 & 18
Married for 22 years now, was 16 at the time. .
D-Day Sept 26 2008
Fully R'd, and Happy Happy Happy

Posts: 10569 | Registered: Oct 2008 | From: St. Louis
♀ 39902
Member # 39902
Default  Posted: 7:06 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I too understand where you are coming from. Just because they are related doesn't mean we have to be in an unhealthy relationship with them.

Posts: 227 | Registered: Jul 2013
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 12:04 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

((((Triple trouble)))

That feeling of validation in IC is so, so sweet. I will never forget the feeling I had the first time I saw a good IC who said about a past relationship with a suicidal ex: 'That must have been really hard.' Those little affirmations somehow give us permission to acknowledge the weight and put it down. I'm glad you're moving toward a healthier place with your relationship to your mom because of it!!

Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4321 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 12:15 AM, May 1st (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I'm sure I participated in that thread. I'm so glad you have an IC that is helping you sort through this.

"And above all things, never think that you're not good enough yourself. A man should never think that. My belief is that in life people will take you at your own reckoning."
- I. Asimov

Posts: 25474 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 6

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