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Newest Member: harleyhugs (45741)

User Topic: NC to send or not to send
Chinadoll30
♀ 43131
Member # 43131
Default  Posted: 12:07 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH has completely cut off contact with AP since DDay. (2 week PA when we were living apart, ended when her H found out and told me). Changed his phone number, working at a different location. I have checked the phones, no contact. She left him a note on his car the day after DDay, which he threw away and told me about. We are working towards R. I asked him to write the no contact letter so I could read what he had to say. It basically says what a mistake it was, how he regrets ever meeting her, if they ever see each other to please just turn around and walk away. Now I sort of feel like sending it would be reestablishing contact. He says that the letter is mine to do what I wish with it, he doesn't know her address to mail it. Any thoughts?
ETA: DDay was 3 weeks ago.

[This message edited by Chinadoll30 at 12:11 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]


"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave

Posts: 339 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Philadelphia
Lovedyoumore
♀ 35593
Member # 35593
Default  Posted: 12:13 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

When was DDay? I say a NC letter is needed if OW makes contact, especially if your H never sent one. After that, give them the silent treatment unless they continue for an extended time. My H's OW sent notes, emails, and gifts for a few months. We never responded in any way.


Me 52
WH 52
Married 30+ years
Together trying to R

I tell people I am tired but really my heart is broken and I am sad.


Posts: 1585 | Registered: May 2012 | From: Southern, bless your heart
Chinadoll30
♀ 43131
Member # 43131
Default  Posted: 12:31 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It's been 3 weeks. Feels like years and years.


"We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means 'I survived'." -Chris Cleave

Posts: 339 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Philadelphia
Skan
♀ 35812
Member # 35812
Default  Posted: 4:50 PM, April 30th (Wednesday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

At this point, I would say to keep NC unless she tries to break it again. Then send the NC letter. If she's staying away, then that's what you want.


Imagine a ship trying to set sail while towing an anchor. Cutting free is not a gift to the anchor. You must release that burden, not because the anchor is worthy, but because the ship is.

D-Day, June 10, 2012



Posts: 5097 | Registered: Jun 2012 | From: So California
Topic Posts: 4

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