He comes from a West African country and they are pretty intolerant of divorce. So much so that infidelity, physical abuse, etc. are not enough reason to end a marriage. I know I need to prepare myself for the barrage of emails and phone calls I will receive in the aftermath of filing.
I will eventually go NC with all of them I'm sure, however I have a history of confrontation avoiding and feel I need to speak with each of them at least once to convey 1. how serious I take the situation and 2. that I cannot be easily convinced/manipulated.
Anyone have to deal with anything like this in the aftermath of filing?
Filed for divorce May 16, 2014
1st court hearing October 23, 2014 (rescheduled :/)
divorce final November 20, 2014
Your STBXWH made choices without your input (ie cheating). Now you're making your decision based on what's best for you.
Honestly, I'd go NC with his family. It isn't THEIR marriage that blew up, so don't bother listening to their justifications, admonitions, etc.
If you want to remain in contact with them (ie if there are children of the marriage involved), fine...but at the first word from any of them about the marriage, I'd hang up the phone.
STBX WH#2 - 47. DDay 7/12/14
Together 7, married 4yrs
Since DDay, he's drunk by 5pm.
Status - F that guy.
XWH #1 - legally married 18yrs. 12+ OW (that I know of).
I edit often for clarity/typos.
I do agree that I don't owe them any justification, I just don't want to burn any bridges. WH has done enough of that.
If they persist:
"If you continue to try to discuss this, I will hang up/leave."
If they continue to persist:
Hang up the phone or walk out.
Be firm in your boundaries.
I would not want my children near them.
Repeat as needed " in America lying and cheating is not acceptable". "Go away".
Do what is right for you. Whether they like it or lump it is their problem.
These are strong cultures. In their mind no matter how wrong he is, marriages just don't end and the woman should just put up with it.
Good luck, it's not easy. I wouldn't worry about being rude, stand your ground and protect your vulnerable feelings right now.