I too have tried the same approach of actively telling the thought of her to piss off. The first few times, I'd catch myself still dwelling on things though I told myself I wouldn't. She still ruined whole days for me even without me having any contact with her. That still happens sometimes. However, I also remember the first time this approach really did work. I said "get out of my f**king head," and she did. That was a very good day, and there's been more like them. I hope they become the norm rather than the exception soon though.
[This message edited by MadeOfScars at 2:42 PM, April 30th (Wednesday)]
Take pride in the strides you are making in your progress. Keep working hard!
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."
stop myself, and think "you don't deserve a f***ing thought.
Maybe I should try this approach^^^^
It does sound like healing to me too.
But it also has made me wonder why I cared that he left in the first place.
I know, right? My first big belly laugh happened when a GF and I were having a beers and tears session (wine, actually) talking about how these muppets broke our hearts. I said to her: "Can you believe that ugly arsed, dull, dim witted guy broke my heart and has me crying on the floor? I mean, seriously, THAT guy? That guy? Really?? I just can't believe it." She agreed her cheating X was equally not so special.
I meant it in all seriousness but as soon as I said it we were both falling over ourself laughing for a good 30 minutes. Even on his best day he wasn't that great.
I did love him once but he certainly wasn't worthy of all of this angst and wailing. Not that anyone is but it's not like I lost a faithful, smart, sexy Keanu Reeves dream guy type of person. I 'lost' a mediocre at best guy - even with my rose coloured glasses on.
Holy lightbulb moment.