I reconnected with an old flame about 7 months after my D was final. Several great conversations led to an amazing night of making out at his house. I said I wasn't ready to have sex, he said no problem and also said a few things like " I want to do whatever I need to do to keep you from disappearing again" and "I was never ok with us not being in each other's lives"...sweet...or so I thought.
We have tons of history, had been really close as teenagers/young adults but hadn't spoken in years. I told him we didn't know each other well enough anymore to consider dating yet, but there was too much chemistry to be just friends. I said I was confused and figured we'd talk more as I was planning on being in my hometown (where he still lives) for about a month.
The next morning he texts me that he's done some thinking and we're definitely better off as friends, he's not in a good place in his life to be dating right now, and if I don't want to be just friends then he understands and we'll just go our separate ways. Um...what?
I was confused and hurt, felt a little led on, also struggled with how it felt to connect with a man for the first time post-M and have it taken away. At the time I'd thought that kissing another man would make me throw up...then was pleased to find that was the last thing on my mind! To have that one night then have it taken away was pretty painful in a way I wasn't yet prepared to deal with.
I made several more attempts to talk to him - texts, emails, mostly went ignored or got really short answers. (I've since learned that one ignored text is one too many and I don't do that with anyone anymore. Yay progress!)
One final attempt was an email with full transparency of how I'd felt about our friendship, what I'd been thinking about over the years, and what I was thinking now. Lots of vulnerability and scary honesty from me about deep feelings for him that had really never gone away, that I'd tried to ignore in the past and was wanting to explore now. His response? Crickets.
So, I moved on and took a lot of valuable lessons from how I responded to the situation, chalked it up as progress towards a healthy relationship with myself and eventually the right man for me. This morning, nearly a year from the one and only night we saw each other, I get an email that he's trying to connect with me on LinkedIn. No personal message, just the generic one. Wtf?
Doesn't LinkedIn sometimes send an invite to everyone in your email contacts? Maybe it's possible he didn't realize I'm in there and this is just part of that mass email, not really individually to me?
If not then that seems ridiculous! Why would we connect on a professional networking site after we made out and then you ignored me?