Of course you're crying! But through the tears I know you know that this is the only way. The proceedings will be stressful but they are going to take you, eventually, out of this mess and let you start over. That thought hurts as much as it comforts--the fact of things ending and being left behind--but you will go through the pain and come out on the other side.
Yep, the next few months won't be easy. In the end though, you will have your D. Believe it.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
I know it is for the best, but I also know getting over this hump seems scary.
It is a draining process mentally.
We will make it thru ok.
If his lawyer is that good then she will see through him. In a D there are few options even sneaky L can employ. For the most part they try to paint a negative picture of the other person. If you have no dirt then it will be difficult to paint you as dirty.
Make sure you chose a good L.
I want to give a little advice that my L gave me when I first started my process. If he has said anything in particular through text, email, facebook, letter, etc., go ahead and save those transactions. When talking about the equitable division of marital assets, ask him what he is willing to give you through a method that you can save. My L said that any proof I have that my STBXWW was willing to give me something, I could use that during my D.
WS have a tendency to change their mind on the flip of a dime. Paper trails are valuable.
“Optimism is a strategy for making a better future. Because unless you believe that the future can be better, you are unlikely to step up and take responsibility for making it so."
My STBXWW and I are also doing things amicably. She has told me that she wants it to go smoothly and she has no intentions to burn me. However, I am still keeping all communications I have with her, just in case. I always trusted her and felt like I could read her very well, but after the A, I just keep a safety blanket handy. I feel pretty confident that I will never have to use any of it, but having it just in case doesn't hurt one bit!
My WW is actually not even hiring her own L for negotiations. I am having my L draft the settlement (based on what my WW and I have agreed to on our own time). Once the settlement is complete, she is going to consult with a L to make sure it is kosher. Once that is done, we will present it to the judge and it should be final (unless the judge has something to say). I really want to go down the uncontested route. Her or I don't want this thing to grow into something huge. We are trying to keep our DD as the primary focus. We don't want her to grow up and remember her mommy and daddy ripping each other apart. I can place my frustration and hurt aside for my DD. She deserves that. I can handle my pain on my own away from her. But to be completely honest, my DD takes a ton of my pain away!
I'm glad that you have a L that you feel good with. Keep us posted on what happens.
This is it. The darkest day. The blackest hour. Chin up, shoulders back. Let's see what we're made of, you and I.
- The Doctor