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H's IC got an earful :)

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Morhurt posted 5/1/2014 13:29 PM

I only have a minute but I want to try to get this down.

My H had IC yesterday and late last night we finally had time to talk about it. He went over the session item by item, it was a nice talk. And then the last item... alone time (for him). He told me that his IC asked what he does for himself, what he would like to do etc. He really loves mountain biking and exercising but hasn't been, mostly because I feel so uncomfortable and unsafe and his exercising was linked to his As.
Anyway, he expressed that to his IC who said "but it's different now, you see that right?" H- "yes" IC- "and Morhurt has to now too, it's different and you need this"... I was now getting uncomfortable with the recounting but kept quiet and just listened.

And then... he did it! He told his IC that he knew it was different now but after the wounds he inflicted on me there was no way that he would expect me to be able to believe that yet (if ever). He said the number one most important thing to him was my feeling safe and he wanted no part of mountain biking until it felt good to me too. He said he got a little upset at his IC and was very adamant in his response. :) His IC ended up saying "it sounds like you have it worked out in your mind, I'm glad you feel so sure" (or something like that).

My heart soared. He does get it. And he shows me every day.

p.s. his IC has been great over all but I don't think infidelity is necessarily something he knows much about, it's ok, we like him anyway

jo2love posted 5/1/2014 13:31 PM

Wonderful post. This made me smile!

Skan posted 5/1/2014 18:17 PM

What a great response!

Allornothing posted 5/1/2014 20:21 PM

Go Mr Morhurt, you're rockin'it!

heforgotme posted 5/1/2014 22:40 PM

Omgosh! Yay!

I remember one time in MC our C told me to apologize to FWH for a meltdown I had. I actually thought it was a reasonable request. FWH told her, "No, she will not apologize to ME for any of the fallout of this. Ever."

I have to say, it was pretty cool.

iwillNOT posted 5/2/2014 00:56 AM

Fantastic! Pull this out to remember on the difficult days. He did good:-)

Morhurt posted 5/2/2014 16:23 PM

Thanks everyone. It really feels like a two way street. At my IC appt this week she helped me recognize why my H had reacted a certain way to a situation, and I totally got it. When I expressed it to him later he felt so understood and loved by me he had tears in his eyes.
We didn't use to be this way. I hate what he did and I always will but I wouldn't go back to pre DDay. I love this new us.

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