SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

I just wanted to share this. No matter what happened to us our worth a human has not changed. This is something that I learned from the book, Feeling Good by David Burns.

I have struggled with depression for over 10 years and this book has really helped.

I saw the sign and it opened up my eyes, I saw the sign
No one's gonna drag you up to get into the light where you belong

Love your name, sorry bout the t/j, just had to post that.

You are absolutely correct though, our worth as humans has not changed. And if you aren't with someone that values you and shows you your worth, then are they really worth your time trying to pull them out of their mess?

Thank You agree, but I am still working on me. Being a person who had depression before the A, I was depressed again for several months after Dday. This book has helped me understand the way my brain works and what I can do to stay out of depression. I hope to some day be off my depression meds.

I saw the sign.

This post made me think of something I saw recently.
Paraphrasing here:
A speaker held up a $20 bill and asked who wanted it. Of course everyone's hand went up. He then crumpled it up and asked who still wanted it. Of course everyone still wanted it. Then he threw it on the floor and stepped on it. Picking up the dirty, crumpled $20 bill, he asked who still wanted it. Of course everyone still wanted it. Everyone still wanted it because it was still worth $20.

He went on to say that we are the $20 bill. We retain our value no matter how crumpled or discarded we feel.

Our WS choices did not lower our value. As BS we stood by our marriage vows and remained faithful. There is great value in that and the people that we are.

Keep doing the hard work, Ace. Keep us updated with your epiphanies.

T/J

Welcome Notwhoithought. I'm glad that you came out of lurking. I've heard the story you've mentioned and here is the more elongated version

A well known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a $20 bill. In the room of 200, he asked. "Who would like this $20 bill?"

Hands started going up. He said, "I am going to give this $20 to one of you - but first, let me do this."

He proceeded to crumple the 20 dollar note up. He then asked. "Who still wants it?" Still the hands were up in the air.

"Well," he replied, "what if I do this?" He dropped it on the
ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He picked it up, now crumpled and dirty. "Now, who still wants it?"

Still the hands went into the air.

"My friends, you have all learned a very valuable lesson. No
matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It was still worth $20.
Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless; but no matter what happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value.

Dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still
priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes, not in what we do or who we know, but by ...WHO WE ARE.

You are special - don't ever forget it."