I know a lot of people struggle with their families and FOO issues.
But I'd like to brag on my mom.
2 days after DD my fwh went to my parents and told them the whole truth. He wanted me to have the family support I would need. My parents were shocked, upset and yet still loving to their son-in-law of 26 yrs.
A few months into our separation my mom tells me she needs to talk to fwh, that she needs to "get things out". They meet, she presents and then reads him a letter. It was amazing. She told it like it was and even toned it down because my dad said it was too mean. They talk for 2 1/2 hrs and I believe that conversation helped fwh realize the long-lasting and "ripple effect" his A had on our whole family. My fwh considers my parents to be his "real" family, his side are a little on the NPD side--go figure.
Now 9 months out, my mom is composing a letter to COW. She feels fwh is remorseful and is working through his sh*t and is becoming the man he is supposed to be. But she feels that COW never had any consequences, never experienced any negative outcome from her behavior which was the same as fwh.(fwh lost his job because of his choices during the A) She wants to "out her".
She's 70 yrs old and she says she's seen it many times before. There are predatory women out there that base their self-worth on their sexuality and their ability to break up happy marriages. This COW has done it at least 4 times previously and will likely continue. My IC even shuddered and said he hopes he never comes across a woman like her because the manipulation is so fine-tuned and calculating. You don't want to be caught in her cross-hairs.
My mom wants revenge, she wants justice, but what she wants more than anything is for me to not hurt anymore. I love her.
With Mother's Day fast approaching I would love to hear from others how their moms, honorary moms-women who are special in their lives, have helped support them through this journey.
PS. sorry if my screen name offends--didn't know when I chose it, that Time was a four-letter word around here.
[This message edited by timetraveler at 2:51 AM, May 2nd (Friday)]
M-27, 2 great kids 20's
DD#2 8/13, same COW
When love beckons to you, follow him, though his ways are hard & steep. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you.