SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I am feeling kind of ..meh today. Maybe its the weather maybe its just me. I am just finishing my college semester, I waited to go back until my kids were both established in school. Anyway my H and I are doing okay. We are in MC and I am in IC but I don't know I just don't feel like it's enough. We do a lot of really intense talking while in MC and a question keeps getting asked of me over and over again and that is "are you able to move past this?" I honestly can't say that I am. We all are in bad situations and some are worse than others but we are all here because our spouses or selves has cheated, they have engaged in affairs, some like me multiple. So can I get past this? Is it just exclusive to me getting past it with my H? Or would I feel like this with anyone right now? I often think that not as an excuse for his A(s) but maybe it's just me, I have been doing "this" for a long, long time. But then somethings I think that I am incapable of being truly happy, regardless of H indiscretions or not. I have never been truly happy with him, me, my life, etc. Thank God for my children because sometimes I wonder where I would be without them. I just feel like doing "good" is not enough and maybe me being unhappy is my way of "feeling" like I am punishing him, but really it's only hurting me, or maybe it's just I am not a happy person in general. Thoughts??

Sounds to me you can't deal with this because you are not sure if you have the whole truth. After reading your history on your profile, I can understand that. Maybe you can't be happy with this man. Maybe it all comes down to that. Are you on AD's? Have you been tested for bi-polar? There could be some underlying reason why you never feel totally happy.

The weather sure can make a difference to a persons attitude, no doubt about that. We have had a lot of dreary days lately and it has definitely affected my mood. It's been a really tough winter and spring is taking it's sweet time so it would amazing if any of us in this area of the world are really happy right now. I wish I could give you a definitive answer to your question but I think I understand how you can't move on from something you're not even sure you know all the facts about.

So if its your spouse asking if youre over it yet or can you get past it, my response would be, "i will get past it when im damned good and ready and if you force it you wont like where this goes." If its your marriage counselor, id say thats one of the most mean spirited questions a marriage counselor has ever asked. What happened the first time you just "got over it". Youve lived this was for 8 years. Whoever is pressuring you to get over it needs to stop. You will get over it when you have healed in your time and thats the only thing you need to know or worry about. Period.