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Newest Member: JenniferJane (50624)

User Topic: A good friend of the marriage
♂ 40181
Member # 40181
Default  Posted: 8:58 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yesterday, I had a friend do a fantastic job of showing what it means to be a friend of the marriage and to also discern right from wrong and take a stand. I'm so grateful to him that I want to share.

My BW is just starting to use Linked In (a professional networking site) and made contact with a friend that I used to work with. To her dismay, she found that my AP's husband, who was complicit in the affair, was one of his contacts. I had introduced them back when we were all friends.

I reached out to him with this note:

Sorry it's been so long since I've typed to you. In trying to clean up and rebuild my life and marriage I'm putting a lot of distance between myself and things from my life in [former city].

In that vein, I have a request for you. Would you be willing to cut out [AP's husband] and [AP] from all of your contacts? LiveJournal, Linked In and whatever else? I know that you don't see them, but I could use the support of knowing that you are willing to cut out people that were so toxic to myself and [BW].

If you think this is an unreasonable thing to ask, tell me so I'll know where you stand.

To my great happiness, he responded within minutes with this:


I deleted those fuckwads from my Facebook the day you told me about all that shit going down. I'll check and make sure I don't have linkedin contacts with them

There were more messages that passed, he found and removed the errant contact and clearly came down in support of our marriage without rug-sweeping my role in the affair. I'm really grateful to my friend for his support and willingness to take a stand on a moral issue rather than not wanting to get involved.

He concluded with this and made me cry at work.

I have been, and always shall be, your friend. -Spock :-)

Me: WH
Her: BW
Dday 7/11/13
"May you be protected from hearts that are not humble, tongues that are not wise and eyes that have forgotten how to cry."

Posts: 274 | Registered: Aug 2013
♂ 38303
Member # 38303
Default  Posted: 9:02 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

That is awesome.

Me: 32 Her: 30
DDAY: Jan 2013

Trust is lost in buckets and regained in drops.

Posts: 4389 | Registered: Jan 2013 | From: North of Chicago, Illinois
♂ 26859
Member # 26859
Default  Posted: 9:18 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

WH - 44
BW - gerrygirl

Posts: 6103 | Registered: Dec 2009 | From: Boise
♀ 30314
Member # 30314
Default  Posted: 9:19 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I love that!

Posts: 7613 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Midwest
♂ 30369
Member # 30369
Default  Posted: 9:20 AM, May 2nd (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Very powerful true life example of how a friend of the marriage should be. Thanks for sharing this.

Posts: 18359 | Registered: Dec 2010
Topic Posts: 5

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