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can I contact him for this?

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HeBrokeVows posted 5/2/2014 10:20 AM

As I'm starting the D process (he hasn't been served yet), I'm trying not to talk to WH except for kids issues, even then it's email or text. But after his comment to me yesterday about he will see the kids any day and every day, it's up to me, I want to just scream. I want to send him this email.

You walked out on us. You said you didn't want this anymore. It doesn't work that way anymore. Also, interesting how the ones you walked out on are all in therapy for your sickness but you claim after 3 sessions you aren't sick, you just made a mistake and therapy is silly. Your 4 year old twins are in therapy as well as your wife yet we are the innocent ones, but needed help. You puked on us, walked out on us, yet won't get help for your puking.

Ok maybe I just feel better typing it out. No need to send it right?

Nature_Girl posted 5/2/2014 11:06 AM

No, definitely don't send that! I'm sure it felt good to type out, but do not send it to him. Don't say it to him, don't tell his mom.


Gemini71 posted 5/2/2014 11:07 AM

No need to send. He is incapable of understanding it (love the puking analogy ).

norabird posted 5/2/2014 11:20 AM

Sending it to us was great! He won't get it, shouldn't hear it, stop, do not pass go, etc.

sunsetslost posted 5/2/2014 11:29 AM

What they said. One thing I found helpful was to post stuff like that here. Another thing I did was to write it out and burn it in the fire pit. Very cleansing.

betrayedfriend posted 5/2/2014 11:37 AM

The wonderful thing about divorce is that you get to pick your own boundaries, so if you feel that him seeing the kids every and any day doesn't work for you, you get to say that. So throw it back at him. Please give me an idea of what you would like your visitation schedule to look like, then when he responds to it, only answer yes if it works for you, no if it doesn't and make changes as needed to fit your new schedule and life.

HeBrokeVows posted 5/2/2014 19:27 PM

Thanks everyone. I do feel better after sharing it here!

miadianna posted 5/2/2014 19:38 PM

Yes, write it out and post it here. Or in a journal. The urge to send it will pass. I've had many of these moments.

I used to make up angry emails and rants in my head while mowing the lawn when he left me with the house and the kids. Type it on a piece of paper or write it and just save it if you want.

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