Here is the email:
"Miadianna";
For eight years I have been listening and reading the bullshit, lies , inuendo, and halve truths about me on social media sites with people who know nothing of our marriage, me, you, or what transpired. I've kept my mouth shut because I didn't want to get in the gutter with you or expose our children to a war of words that no one will win. It's amazing you take no part in the break up of the marriage.
I've watched as you have typed this poison and alienated my daughter from me, by squarely putting her in the middle. When you degrade me the kids read it. How do you think that makes them feel about themselves. After all when you ridicule me you also ridicule half of who they are. You choose to stay in the gutter, and you keep (daughter) with you. Is that fair to her. (How is he "watching" me "type poison" if I have no contact with him? I'm so confused. And where am I spreading lies and poison?)
I have never spoken mean spirited to either of our children about you. In eight years I have encouraged them to always remember your birthday and Christmas. To always buy you a present even though your standard line was you didn't want any. I have asked them to provide info to you on FAFSA that you would have been eligible for while kids were in school. I expressed sadness over your lack of commitment to getting training for a new career... (edited). In the end I discussed elements of divorce decree.
I'm tired, I'm done. You want to continue to play the victim go ahead. I'm going to hire another attorney and we can go to court and fight a slander defamation suit. Grow up!!! Get a job! Leave our children out of it and get a life. (Apparently I have a life but not the life he wants for me. I am temporarily working for my brother's business and do other things but I've never told him because he doesn't need to know.)
Gods knows with the almost $$$$ I've given you and $$$$ I paid for college (not you) as you've implied. No, you don't need money. Take another tennis trip on me!!!! (Um, he doesn't pay alimony anymore and I took care of his kids who he never visited and house and all family expenses with that money.I am a person who doesn't need a lot of money to be happy. I have been calm and content and living within my means since he left. I don't think he can understand how I can be happy without huge material things.)
(I had not gone on a vacation or trip in our 25 years married so when we divorced I started watching and playing tennis again and it's something my daughter loves too, so we started going to tournaments and have a great time. But nobody ever told him this, I've been NC since 2005! So he must be looking at photos on my FB profile pic that is public. I have no idea, but why does he care?)
For my part I'm going on my first vacation in eight years. (Well when you have to impress an OW who lives with you with fancy material items, expensive dinners, a huge $450,000 house and a boat, SUVs, motorcycle, tanning bed and new furniture, expensive engagement ring, a wedding coming up I guess so...) My daughter and I go on a few tennis vacations because we are very frugal, enjoy the simple things and save for it all year.
Here's a judges opinion I thought was interesting maybe you can learn something from it.
"XH"
A Judge Talks to Divorcing Parents
“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you. Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent. If so, that is your problem and your fault.
No matter what you think of the other party—or what your family thinks of the other party—these children are one half of each of you. Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an ‘idiot’ his father is, or what a ‘fool’ his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.
That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child. That is not love. That is possession. If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.
I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children. Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, or your children will suffer.”
Judge Michael Haas
District Court
Minnesota
[This message edited by miadianna at 11:48 AM, May 3rd (Saturday)]