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We haven't filed for D yet, WH has a few reasons to take this slow, I guess I agree on a few points, mostly for the kids. One big one is me getting a full time job.

I think we can create a formula for maintenance that could fluctuate based on our income going up or down, is that true? He wants to wait I assume so he feels less guilty dropping me on my face, and so he doesnt have to pay so much out. We also want to try to keep the house a year to transition kids slower, and we need more income for that and an apt.

How are some ways we can formulate the maintenance so I can file? I can't stand that he's emotionally connected to OP and more when she's been through town, I'm sure again soon.

We hope to meet some mediators and start that next week, I'm thinking they will have some advice too.

Standard calculations imputed usually are full-time (40 hours) at minimum wage for your state.

Do you have college behind you? Do you have job skills in a certain career you may have had? It can be impudiated meaning you can earn a set amount once employed.

This may depend on the state you live in (I'm in California), but when I filed for divorce after the first d-day, my lawyer told me since I was primary care giver to my daughter (who was a minor at the time), I had the choice NOT to work. My WH's income was enough to easily support two households, so I don't know if that was the reason I was given that option, but you may want to visit an attorney for a consultation.

If your children are young and you have been a SAHM, you may have the choice to work or not. You may have the choice to how many hours you work and what those hours are (as in while the kids are in school).

I understand you want to work things out with your WH, but realize that he's thinking of his best interests first. Yes, he feels some guilt, but the bottom line is he's a liar and a cheat and he isn't going to all of a sudden be thinking, "What can I do that's best for Acer." He's done with you, honey, and wants to move on to his new main squeeze."

Please consider making a private (as in don't tell WH because he will try to talk you out of it) appointment for an initial consultation with a lawyer. Some offer free ones or discount their hourly rate. You don't have to obligate yourself to becoming his/her client. Just talk to someone who will be thinking about your best interests. You will be surprised what you can learn....possibly things that you aren't even aware of...things that can serve you well. And if the consult is free, you have nothing to lose and alot to gain.

If you decide to do this, let us know. We can help you with information you will need to provide the attorney so that you can make the most from your consult.