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LeftOutintheCold (original poster member #42856) posted at 1:50 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
I finally went to my doctor yesterday to talk about my anxiety and lack of sleep. I resisted it for quite a while since I felt like it was a sign of weakness to get medical help. However, I have since come to the realization (thanks to SI'ers) that it's just something I need to do to help me heal and function.
As I took my AD's for the first time today, it marks another step in me accepting my reality. I also see it as the first step in reclaiming me and starting the next chapter of my life.
I'm truly looking forward to a night where I can sleep for more than two hours at a time and maybe actually wake up somewhat refreshed. I forget what that feels like. I know the waking nightmare will still be there to greet me, but maybe it won't bother me as much if I can sleep better.
I really feel ready to take back control of my life and start making changes for me!
Me - 43
WH - 41
Dday - 3/6/14
Married 5yrs, together 11yrs
Status - Divorce from the ass is in progress!
You can see more of my story on my blog here: http://thatcraftylunchlady.com/?p=833
"Never give up hope and let time heal you"
devistatedmom ( member #24961) posted at 3:32 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
Sleep helps. Really.
I didn't take any AD's, but did go to my Dr. and get some sleeping pills. I would only take them on non-work nights that I didn't have my kids...but even getting that solid night sleep once every 2 weeks or so did WONDERS to help me clear my brain and be able to think straight again.
It's not a weakness. You are very strong and very right to seek help when you need it. It shows you know who you are, and where you need to be. Good for you.
BS(me) 46, Two wonderful teens.
He is no longer my best friend. Repeat until it sticks.
WH says marriage is over: May 15, 2009.
EA#2 July 20, 2009. Legally sep: Aug 16, 2009. DIVORCED!!!! Signed Nov 23, final Dec 24, 2010, adultery listed.
justinpaintoday ( member #42858) posted at 3:52 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
Left: so proud of u for tKing cate of urself.
I never realized you could be in this much pain and not be dying.
dmari ( member #37215) posted at 9:13 AM on Saturday, May 3rd, 2014
This is a good and healthy step, LeftOutintheCold! I like how you worded it "...accepting my reality." I recently increased my AD because I felt myself slipping into depression (for me, it looks like inattentiveness and always tired even after a good nights sleep) and I wanted to catch it before I hit bottom. Before, I probably looked at this as a weakness also but know I see it is a strength. I hope that this AD works well for you. It's amazing how much clearer you "see" when you have had a good nights rest. (((((LOitC)))))
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