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Newest Member: cactusrunner85 (61536)

User Topic: What are my rights here?
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Flame  Posted: 7:23 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

MSA says I get Mothers Day he gets Fathers Day.
We agree to schedule a year in advance. In my residual co dependence I was concerned about offering him Memorial Day at the time, thinking more about others than myself. He refused Memorial DAy weekend as his one weekend a month.
TODAY I REALIZE NEXT WEEKEND is Mother's Day which is also his weekend of the month for visitation.
I emailed asking he bring the girls back Saturday or switch weekends because Mothers Day is mine according to agreement.
I am now thinking he planned this and now what if he says well too late you agreed a year in advance, or you had no objection until now too late? then owife gloats at being with MY kids on Mother's Day.

I'm trying to imagine this was just an oversight and that he will do the right thing.
The other part of me is planning vengeance on exposing his unethical just downright crappy behavior. Owife is domineering. I am concerned even if he did want to do the right thing that she would forbid him to do it.

Posts: 4809 | Registered: Dec 2009
♀ 24518
Member # 24518
Default  Posted: 8:02 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

From my understanding, the holiday schedule takes precedence over the regular schedule. So, if he doesn't not bring the girls back for Mother's Day, he is in violation. Don't ask him, tell him.

That being said, he may not comply. Decide whether it's a hill you want to die on or not. My ex did all sorts of shitty stuff like this the 1st year, including taking the boys because of ex wanted them to go to his mother's for mother's day. Personally, I chose to take the high road, not put my kids in the middle, and let them go. But then again, I was pretty used to Mother's Day not really being about me, at that point.

There is no joy without gratitude. - Brené Brown

Posts: 13032 | Registered: Jun 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartof, Texas
Helen of Troy
♀ 26419
Member # 26419
Default  Posted: 8:46 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Thank you that was helpful.
I may concede if the kids see their actual grandmother and holiday is not for owife/stepmom or her mom.
It's still possible he will do the right thing and switch weekends. Who knows.
It is good to know holiday takes precedence over regular. I was even going to extend the olive branch and make him a cd of the kids for Fathers Day. (before this issue because it would be the right thing to do)If he doesn't comply, I won't be doing that. He doesn't know about the cd photos.

Posts: 4809 | Registered: Dec 2009
million pieces
♀ 27539
Member # 27539
Default  Posted: 9:10 AM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We do every other weekend, but Mothers/Fathers day superceeds that every year. If I don't have them on that weekend, I just get them early on Sunday.

Me - 45
2 kids, 12 and 15
D-Day 2/5/10, separated 3 wks later
Divorced 11/15/11!!!!

Posts: 1676 | Registered: Feb 2010 | From: MD
♀ 35229
Member # 35229
Default  Posted: 6:53 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

We don't swap whole weekends - just the Sunday. It isn't a choice or a point of debate - it's in the orders. The sad clown chose not to have them on his first Fathers Day. I have that in writing so he couldn't accuse me of not following the orders.

He may choose to not swap the whole weekend but he can't choose to not hand them over on Mothers Day. I'd be calling the cops if he did.

His choices are swap the whole weekend or hand them over on the Sunday. That is all.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

Posts: 6008 | Registered: Apr 2012 | From: Australia
♀ 40115
Member # 40115
Default  Posted: 11:33 PM, May 3rd (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Look at it this way, he messed up by requesting a weekend that has a day that is 'yours' by decree. His problem.

Ditto SBB. Sunday is yours.

One day
I'm gonna forget your name,
And one sweet day,
you're gonna drown in my lost pain. - "Sweet Sacrifice" by Evanescence

Double Betrayal D-Day 7/26/2013
Divorced 11/18/2014

Posts: 3391 | Registered: Jul 2013 | From: Illinois, USA
Topic Posts: 6

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