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I took a Giant Leap

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LdyD posted 5/3/2014 12:35 PM

A huge leap of faith in my WH. His EA was on Facebook. He deactivated his Facebook account 3 days after D-day. I told him last night that in order for me to allow him to gain his trust back, I have to allow myself to be vulnerable again and allow him to prove himself to me. So, I told him that he can activate his Facebook account again, but that I have a few conditions.

1) Total Transparency - Access to his account
2) Any Messages sent or received he needs to tell me about
3) Unfriend all females that are not family members
4) NO messages are to be deleted

He already gave me his login info and unfriended all non family females.

I told him that I have come to the point that I am comfortable with the idea of being a single mom if he fucks up again, we're done for good! No Exceptions! He says he completely understands and appreciates me allowing him to prove himself to me and says that he will never betray me again. I said I sure hope you don't, I love you and want to trust you again. So I'm giving you the rope, it's up to you how you handle the rope or if you choose to hang yourself (so to speak).

LdyD posted 5/3/2014 12:44 PM

Oh and yes I am still scared, worried and anxious. But I feel it's time for him to put up or shut up so to say.

SpotlessMind posted 5/3/2014 12:49 PM

LdyD--good for you. I struggle all the time with making myself vulnerable, and I appreciate how risky that feels. It's very brave of you to make this venture, and I think it's a great opportunity for your husband to demonstrate his new and improved boundaries.

Best wishes to you both!

DTERMINED2SURVIV posted 5/3/2014 12:54 PM

I think thats great! I too try to be vulnerable no matter how hard and mostly SCARY it is. Like you said, you wont be able to trust him if you dont allow him to EARN it. I really hope everything works out for you!

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