No pearls of wisdom to offer here, except that I feel the same way, although it is easing little by little as time passes and, like you, I stay busy. I think it's just a journey of grief and mourning that you simply have to take in order to process what has happened and move forward. And the answer to, "how long does it take to recover" is, "it just takes as long as it takes".
It will get easier.
Also, things are not going to stay so rosy for your ex and OP. I just heard that my ex's OP has been complaining to her friends so much that they told her they no longer wanted to hear it anymore. So, since you really have no way of knowing how things are for your ex, try to continue to redirect your thoughts towards yourself and your future.
You are doing wonderfully, and the self respect and honor you have will carry through this! (((hugs)))
[This message edited by Harriet at 10:53 AM, May 4th (Sunday)]
I just wanted to let you know you're not alone. (((lovehonorcherish)))
Unfortunately, it takes time. But you are doing everything right, and your mourning period right now is normal. If you didn't have sadness from the end of the marriage, that would be the opposite of healthy! Feeling the loneliness now is natural but it really will pass. Use your time alone to really take care of yourself and focus on your interest and you will start to find that you really enjoy being independent. Before that point though, let yourself acknowledge the pain, and know that it will pass.
What I try to do...is think about those EVIL things! Like how he pre-meditatively beat me up, how he maliciously let everything we have get auctioned off without telling me, how he lies every waking minute, how he uses people, how he texts our son that he misses him & wishes they were throwing the football (but never follows thru on visitation cuz he has other social things to do), how he bad-mouths me to everyone, etc. I really need a list! Thinking of these things makes me miss him less....but he still occupies 80% of my head space!
An old boyfriend (who just filed for D as his wife cheated on him) suggested I put up a profile on online dating. He said that just getting the inquiries would help my self esteem & keep my mind off stbx.
There was a recent post...someone said that what we miss was the M or the H we THOUGHT we had. Maybe we did once upon a time. But that M or H is gone and no amount of R will ever bring it back.
[This message edited by btrayedbyhim at 7:35 AM, May 5th (Monday)]