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Newest Member: DepressedIRL (61855)

User Topic: When does it get easier?
♀ 42758
Member # 42758
Default  Posted: 9:29 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

I thought I was making progress, but I have been bawling my eyes out yesterday and today-- we all almost ready to sign separation agreement, the house is listed and I am currently looking for a new house.

OW (who lived across the street) just moved out this weekend....I should be happy, but I feel like it is Dday all over again. I feel like this is surreal and not really happening.

I have been NC with STBXH, but today I just want to send him an email and say..."how did we get to this point after 17 years together".....but I will not, so I am posting here. Today is just a bad day. Thanks for listening.

Kids: DD7
DDay: 12/31/2013
Married 15 years

You can't rationalize irrational behavior.

Posts: 137 | Registered: Mar 2014 | From: North Carolina
♀ 42092
Member # 42092
Default  Posted: 9:34 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

As NIK says, healing isn't linear. There will still be dips in the rollercoaster, it's such a big load to carry and sometimes it gets the best of us. But the sadness is part of processing what happened and does move your healing forward.

You will be okay.


Sit. Feast on your life.

Posts: 4324 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
♀ 43241
Member # 43241
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

You have checked off a few more things on this journey so it's normal to grieve again on what once was.

I relapse often, and ask the same questions, our marriage wasn't that bad, we've been together 22 years, how can we be going this direction?

Let yourself feel those emotions and then find your strength and direction again to keep strong as you have been.

D-Day 1/24/14
D-Day2 04/08/14, false R
17yrs married, 23yrs together
Two kids in middle school
Divorced 10/2014

Posts: 203 | Registered: Apr 2014
♂ 43192
Member # 43192
Default  Posted: 9:40 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Stay strong , my thoughts are with you and I am sending you= my strength that I have. I am not to this point yet but not far away.

Posts: 134 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Ontario Canada
♂ 23328
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 11:31 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Moo (MovingUpward) has an excellent post in General today. Go find it and read it.

It gets easier a little at a time. You take 2 steps forward and 1 back.

A month from now, it will be easier. Maybe not much, but a bit. Two months, even easier.

Baby steps.

In six months, you can look back where you were, and see that there was progress.

Are you done? Most likely not. But it's better.

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5719 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
Topic Posts: 5

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