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I thought I was making progress, but I have been bawling my eyes out yesterday and today-- we all almost ready to sign separation agreement, the house is listed and I am currently looking for a new house.

OW (who lived across the street) just moved out this weekend....I should be happy, but I feel like it is Dday all over again. I feel like this is surreal and not really happening.

I have been NC with STBXH, but today I just want to send him an email and say..."how did we get to this point after 17 years together".....but I will not, so I am posting here. Today is just a bad day. Thanks for listening.

As NIK says, healing isn't linear. There will still be dips in the rollercoaster, it's such a big load to carry and sometimes it gets the best of us. But the sadness is part of processing what happened and does move your healing forward.

You will be okay.

(((freeatlast)))

You have checked off a few more things on this journey so it's normal to grieve again on what once was.

I relapse often, and ask the same questions, our marriage wasn't that bad, we've been together 22 years, how can we be going this direction?

Let yourself feel those emotions and then find your strength and direction again to keep strong as you have been.

Stay strong , my thoughts are with you and I am sending you= my strength that I have. I am not to this point yet but not far away.

Moo (MovingUpward) has an excellent post in General today. Go find it and read it.

It gets easier a little at a time. You take 2 steps forward and 1 back.

A month from now, it will be easier. Maybe not much, but a bit. Two months, even easier.

Baby steps.

In six months, you can look back where you were, and see that there was progress.

Are you done? Most likely not. But it's better.