Topic: Old Dating Requirement
Member # 34533
| Posted: 11:33 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I have put myself back out on OLD. I have had some attention. One guy I have chatted back and forth on the site. Asked for a get together to see if we like each other face to face. No problem. Set up date/time. He gave me his phone number. I thanked him and asked for his real first/last name. He got all in a tizzy. Asked if my screen name was real. I said no. He then asked if I would be giving him my real name. I said of course, after I got a real name/number from him. He seems cranky. Once I give my number out, anyone will be able to figure out exactly who I am, due to the biz I am in. I am not willing to just hand out number willy-nilly.
I have since sent him a msg saying it is obvious he has a problem with what I am requesting and it would be best to cancel meeting, and work on finding someone that personalities match closer.
Is it odd that I am requesting real name/number? Of course I am going to Google them. I assume they will Google me.
WS: Just a squished bug on the window of my life!
Divorcing, STBXH is engaged/living with OW#3
They have a choice: they can live in my new world, or they can die in their old one." — Daenerys Targaryen
Posts: 834 | Registered: Jan 2012 | From: Must Survive
Member # 14003
| Posted: 11:41 AM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I must admit that I do not give my last name before meeting somebody for the first time. Since people can look up my address if they have my full name, I don't share it that quickly. They do get my phone number, if we click via email/im first, but they can't locate my home with it.
If I were you, I wouldn't give my main number out to people if they can find loads of info on you with it. Instead, I'd download an app that allowed you to create a generic number to give out to potential dates.
A relationship without trust is like a car without gas. You can stay in it all you want, but it won't go anywhere.
Posts: 13881 | Registered: Mar 2007 | From: Houston
Member # 24210
| Posted: 12:17 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I only found one guy that was ever weird about names during OLD. I told him I found it ironic because I could probably figure out who he was with just what he told me. He didn't believe me....within a hour, I gave him his name, occupation, etc.
So yes - I do find it strange this guy won't tell you. I found the legit guys are very open to doing whatever will make me comfortable.
Eyes are useless if the mind is blind.
Posts: 2274 | Registered: May 2009 | From: Pa
Member # 30346
| Posted: 12:27 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I've only had one guy kinda push back, but still gave it to me. I joke and say something like, "I just need to confirm you are not a serial killer before I go someplace alone with you…and I'll also give you my name."
You learn to get a feel for people as you email them and know the people that shouldn't get your number/name.
If I get any pushback, then I'm done. You are basically putting your life on the line as a woman when you agree to meet a perfect stranger.
me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Posts: 4284 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Member # 30341
| Posted: 12:44 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I live in a small state in a small-ish community, and have dated guys from our small capital city, which is about 45 minutes from me.
I have a very common last name, but a relatively uncommon profession so as soon as we discuss what we do for a living, even with being given just my first name I assume anyone on OLD will be able to do a google search, find my office address etc. It just works that way. I can find most people I meet on line that way too. "What do you do?" and "Where do you work?" is all that I need to find many of the people I come in contact with. You can do the same thing with some of the pictures people post on their profiles.
It has never been a problem for me. People say all kinds of scary stories about OLD, and none of them have been my experience in the 3 years I've used OLD. Most people are pretty dang normal.
This guy sounds either new to the gig of OLD and therefore doesn't understand that he really isn't anonymous or he's especially skeered about his background check coming out "iff-y". I'd probably do what you did and take a pass...
DDay 11/17/2010 BW:53
Posts: 3267 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: Iowa
Member # 42092
| Posted: 2:10 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I usually would know someone's fullname because often the convo would jump over to email; and I don't think it's at all unreasonable for you to ask! His reaction is a huge red flag. Next!
Sit. Feast on your life.
Posts: 4235 | Registered: Jan 2014 | From: NYC
Member # 36126
| Posted: 5:02 PM, May 5th (Monday), 2014|
I would get a throw away phone for online dating and no last name for at least 3 dates.
There are some people who are literally on OLD who end up with repeat callers or stalkers.
If the male (this is sexist and I apologize) doesn't understand or appreciate safety then he is not worthy of your time.
Posts: 1108 | Registered: Jul 2012
|Topic Posts: 7|