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Trust regained

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tired girl posted 5/5/2014 15:34 PM

So I thought about posting this in Recon, but wayward is where I started, and since there are so many here that are, will be, struggling with the trust issue in their M, I wanted to share a story of hope here.

About a month or so ago, HL and I were having a conversation about what I am going to do for my future career. In this conversation it happened to come up that HL said to me that he was solid with who I am as his wife, that he knew he could count on me in any situation and know that I am good, that I will be there for him. What he was saying at the time struck me as being big but I could not put my finger on it, and I continued to roll it around in my head. I have rolled it around in my head off and on for the past month and a few days ago while reading something here on SI, it all of the sudden struck me why it was big. He was saying that he trusted me now. After four years, he knew that he could trust me again. This was big, it was huge. I sat with that for a couple of days before I talked to him. I needed to know how I felt about that.

First off, I am humbled. I honestly never expected it back. I have never had a problem with him asking or needing to know where I am or what is going on. I can do that until the day I die if that is what he needs. To know that he feels that I am worthy of his trust again, that I have changed to a point that he can go there again, well, I honestly don't know what to say except I love you HL and thank you.

For those of you that think that it might never happen, that are just starting out, I wrote this to give you some hope. Keep it up, don't give up working on you. Your life and your M can be recovered and changed.

[This message edited by tired girl at 3:35 PM, May 5th (Monday)]

BrokenButTrying posted 5/5/2014 15:36 PM

That's brilliant!

Really happy for you guys. You two are inspirational :)

JanaGreen posted 5/5/2014 15:39 PM

I'm sitting at my desk smiling. You're good people and you deserve good things. I'm so glad for both of you.

MissesJai posted 5/5/2014 15:56 PM

Proud of you both.... love you girlie.

tired girl posted 5/5/2014 16:05 PM

Thank you guys.

Love you too MJ

Wayflost posted 5/5/2014 16:07 PM

Thank you for sharing.

It's crazy how crucial hope is, and difficult it can be to find at times.

hardlessons posted 5/5/2014 16:09 PM

TG, your hard work and incredible effort and love and support and just plain "keepin it real" makes trusting you easy and loving you even easier.

Aubrie posted 5/5/2014 16:11 PM

TG, your hard work and incredible effort and love and support and just plain "keepin it real" makes trusting you easy and loving you even easier.
Oh c'mon youse guys. Quit with the mushy junk.

J/k j/k

Way to go both of you. Good stuff.

knightsbff posted 5/5/2014 16:17 PM

tired girl posted 5/5/2014 16:32 PM

TG, your hard work and incredible effort and love and support and just plain "keepin it real" makes trusting you easy and loving you even easier.

Thank you HL

MissesJai posted 5/5/2014 16:34 PM

oh, hi HL!!!

sunnyrain posted 5/5/2014 16:43 PM

And they lived happily ever after. Congrats!

HFSSC posted 5/5/2014 17:12 PM

Dang, now I'm crying. Thanks, y'all.

Seriously, that is beautiful and I'm happy for y'all.

LosferWords posted 5/5/2014 20:06 PM

So glad to hear this. I am very happy for both of you to get to this point. Thanks for sharing the hope.

JanaGreen posted 5/6/2014 08:56 AM

awwww!

ItsaClimb posted 5/6/2014 10:13 AM

HL said to me that he was solid with who I am as his wife, that he knew he could count on me in any situation and know that I am good, that I will be there for him.

^^ Wow, I SO long to regain that kind of feeling for my fWH. I miss that so much.... Reading this gives me hope that eventually we will get there. He is doing everything he can to prove to me that he is trustworthy, but I'm having a hard time being that vulnerable again. Hoping that in a couple of years we will be where you are now. Thanks for sharing

Deeply Scared posted 5/6/2014 10:41 AM

(((TG)))

I'm so very happy for you both!! A lot of hard work and deep conversations brought you both to this place together...I have a huge smile on my face!

Wonderful news to read...truly

rachelc posted 5/6/2014 12:07 PM

yay!!

tired girl posted 5/6/2014 15:37 PM

Wow, I SO long to regain that kind of feeling for my fWH. I miss that so much.... Reading this gives me hope that eventually we will get there. He is doing everything he can to prove to me that he is trustworthy, but I'm having a hard time being that vulnerable again. Hoping that in a couple of years we will be where you are now.

When I think back to our first year after what I did, I can scarcely believe that I am able to put this post up now. It is not difficult for me to be able to recall the pain of that first year and the sheer devastation that I brought to HL's life, and to my own. I honestly never thought that trust was something that would be regained in that first year, I was scared to death that we would never R. HL didn't commit to R for 5 months. Our R has been a long and winding road to say the least. So to put this post up, for me, well it is big. Don't give up hope. Anyone.

I'm so very happy for you both!! A lot of hard work and deep conversations brought you both to this place together...I have a huge smile on my face!

Wonderful news to read...truly

Thank you very much DS. I can honestly say that had I not found this site when I did, and started reading, and taking the advice to heart, I don't know that we would be together now. I was doing everything wrong. My plan was to tell him nothing, he should never know. He didn't need to know. We should rugsweep it and try to just move on. It was reading about the other BS's here on this site that moved me to see what I needed to give HL. The other waywards helped me to see what I needed to fix in myself. It was a slow road at first. But it happened, thanks to what I learned here.

Deeply Scared posted 5/6/2014 15:53 PM

(((TG)))

You and HL are an inspiration to many here

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