I really want to say that I am finding this to be such a helpful forum. Sorry I'm all over the place.
I am really struggling with understanding.
The weekend before DD I had suffered my second miscarriage and thought I was being very sensitive and that weekend he seemed pre-occupied, and didn't show a normal level of empathy for how low I was feeling. But I just knew something was wrong.
WS has confessed to watching porn on his phone for sometime , claiming a couple of times a week, sometimes after I had gone to bed (I was pretty sick around this time), sometimes at work.
A pop up screen came up for flirt.com and he created a profile, dick photos and all. Looking for hot, naughty fun, ready to play.
At some point he starts chatting to some girl (clearly one with little self esteem) and drives to her place and has sex.
He claims they used protection. Drives home and tells me how much he loves me, hugging and hugging me.
The next day at work I he said he was sick, racked with quilt. That night I asked him an innocent question, but my gut was telling me something was very wrong.
He just came out with it. He says there was nothing at all wrong with our relationship it was him and in his head. He's told me he was selfish and it was exciting.
He says all the right things.
Questions, how do you deal with porn, it's not something we have watched together and now I have asked him to change his mobile for one that doesn't have internet access. Is that realistic?
MC has said sometimes people just make a series of bad decisions without thinking and we can move on from it as he thinks he has had a huge wake up call. I can't get my head around the fact there are no underlining causes, issues etc we need to work on.
Sex, I always felt it was not the biggest part of our relationship but an important part... no I don't want to kiss let alone anything else but I also feel worried if I don't, I just don't know if I will get past this.