SurvivingInfidelity.com Forum Archives

Return to Forum List

First date tonight eee

You are not logged in. Login here or register.

Pages: 1 · 2

norabird posted 5/6/2014 11:51 AM

Last night I was almost too excited to sleep. As I lay there with my heart racing I realized that five months before I had a similar feeling of emotional overload while trying to sleep for the opposite reason--anxiety over my false R (which I didn't know was false). The stress gave me short-term insomnia for a month and if I didn't take a sleeping pill I just stayed awake all night.

That feels much more distant right now than I could have hoped for. I did hope for this, of course, but the pain was so thick for a while. Now when I go into JFO I feel so grateful to be away from the place where newbies are. *shudder*

The nervousness is a mix of excitement over the new person (who I am very much infatuated with, which I need to try and regulate to a certain degree) but also probably relates to a little feeling of disbelief. Like, am I really here? Am I really ready? I think having several men fall into my life recently means that I'm open to them--when I felt closed off and in full batten down the hatches mode, it didn't and couldn't happen. Now that I'm no longer crying my eyes out, and feel positive about the direction of my life and that what happened is just that, something that happened in my past, I am hopeful I am not rushing things. But of course I'm not entirely sure. We'll see. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

better4me posted 5/6/2014 12:12 PM

"eeeeeee" indeed. It is good to see the progress we've made and how much healing is possible. Go slowly. Remember infatuation is a wonderful thing, but it isn't something to make decisions on. Have fun, discover, talk, flirt, be. Enjoy this feeling!

And be sure to let us know how the date goes

nowiknow23 posted 5/6/2014 12:53 PM

Enjoy, norabird. And mind your curfew.

Lonelygirl10 posted 5/6/2014 13:40 PM

Good luck, and have fun!!

cmego posted 5/6/2014 14:29 PM

Just try to relax and look at it as just seeing if he is worth a second date.

It took me a long time to just…relax…about dating. Things are going better now that I have learned to not look at each date so seriously. I just go and meet a new person.

GreatRoleModel posted 5/6/2014 15:07 PM

Have a great time and do not put pressure on yourself. Just be your charming self

nutmegkitty posted 5/6/2014 15:11 PM

Have fun!

asurvivor posted 5/6/2014 16:22 PM

Offer to pick up the tip and he will never forget you.

Artemisia posted 5/6/2014 16:32 PM

Happy for you norabird!

Don't forget to tell us ALL ABOUT IT, every last detail and thought! For those of us mostly living vicariously.

wildbananas posted 5/6/2014 17:08 PM

Have a great time!

yearsofpain25 posted 5/6/2014 18:05 PM

Hope the date goes well and good luck. Enjoy yourself!

getnbtr1 posted 5/6/2014 18:45 PM

Can't wait to see your update. Hope its a fun date and that you enjoy Good luck!!

norabird posted 5/7/2014 01:10 AM

Gosh, I knew I used to like dating! And I still do, apparently

Despite being a sweaty anxious mess all day, as soon as I met up with him I felt calm (as I knew would happen )

He texted an hour and a half before we met, which I liked -- 'no plans to stand me up right?' I know, not exactly a declaration of love, but flirtatious. And it was good to see him again and to sit and talk more. We had two drinks at the bar where we met, and then moved to a restaurant next door to get food two and a half hours later. Then we went to yet another bar for one more drink after. Lots of talk about politics, some about family too, and some teasing of me on his part. That is flirtatious but also could be eventually bad.

I like his seriousness about social justice even though I tend to be more involved in the arts/culture scene than he is, while my social justice involvement is kind of middling. I think he could inspire me to make some changes in life that I would like though, like becoming more vegetarian.

There was definitely a flirty vibe all night. We talked really easily and well. He kissed me goodnight....a long kiss. It was, um, great.

I think we will probably meet up again (I already know what I want the next date to be!). It was good to connect with someone new. I did think about my ex slightly on the walk home, after meeting a sweet stray kitty and thinking of how exWBF took in another stray off our street a year ago, but it was pretty much just a huh type memory. So that's good.

Now I just have to keep my curfew on the next few dates!

For those keeping score, he paid for the drinks at the first bar, I paid for about half of the meal after (my idea), and I paid for the drinks at the last bar (still my idea.). I think we earn about the same and I didn't want to let him pay for it all. But I do want to see him again for sure.

And I know....there's life after the Supposed Soulmate Oh Wait You Did What?! A LOT of life free from him! It is freeing to start feeling this. And the cute guy doesn't hurt at all

I know tomorrow the feeling of wondering and waiting will probably set in, but right now, I'm happy. What will be, will be.

Thanks to SI for being a place where I can go on this journey, from the pain of the ending to the excitement of the new beginnings, with so much support. I am so grateful for having had this place as I have walked my path and continue to turn here for strength and validation as it wends forwards and backwards.

[This message edited by norabird at 1:11 AM, May 7th (Wednesday)]

Lonelygirl10 posted 5/7/2014 05:03 AM

Yay sounds like it was a great first date! Actually sounds more like my typical second dates. My first dates are usually more awkward. So that's great

As my friend told me though, be careful to not get so caught up in the newness that you overlook things.

Good luck!

yearsofpain25 posted 5/7/2014 07:16 AM

Fantastic norabird! Glad to see you be able to let your hair down and enjoy yourself.

And (sigh) I suppose this is excellent advice from Lonelygirl10 too

As my friend told me though, be careful to not get so caught up in the newness that you overlook things.

We do have to keep ourselves in check, but damn, I'm happy and excited for you. Hopefully a second date in your future?

curiouswiz posted 5/7/2014 09:08 AM

Congratulations Norabird! I'm so happy for you! I want to thank you again for being there for me too...

If it wasn't so early I'd raise a glass of wine in a salute to New Beginnings for you!

asurvivor posted 5/7/2014 10:12 AM

I think you should send him a text today that says,"you are bacon me crazy."

cmego posted 5/7/2014 10:45 AM

Sounds like a fun time

nowiknow23 posted 5/7/2014 11:32 AM

Glad you had a good time, nora.

MadeOfScars posted 5/7/2014 11:35 AM

Alright norabird! No matter where this goes, you know there is a life after betrayal. Not to be "that guy," but do be careful like Lonelygirl10 said. You're obviously an insightful and intelligent person, so I think you'll be just fine.

Pages: 1 · 2

Return to Forum List

© 2002-2018 SurvivingInfidelity.com ®. All Rights Reserved.