Madhatters - We have R'd.
Hi, welcome to SI. This is a great place to begin your healing. You'll find lots of help and support from the members here. Well done on taking the first step!
You said you're in MC (marriage counselling) with your BH (betrayed husband) are you in any sort of IC (individual counselling)? Because the reasons for your A (affair) don't lie in your marriage, they lie in you.
It sounds like your marriage had some issues but I suggest exploring how and why your coping mechanisms that would normally allow you to cope with those issues, failed you. Please do not blame this all on your BH, you need to accept full responsibility for your decision to cheat.
The FAQ and articles in The Healing Library are a fantastic place to start (yellow, top left hand corner of the web page) and the book 'How to help your spouse heal from your affair' is essential reading.
There is also a thread on here 'things that every WS (wayward spouse) need to know', I'll bump it for you so you can take a look.
You have a long road ahead of you but it sounds like you're determined. Wishing you and your BH the best of luck.
[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 3:36 PM, May 6th (Tuesday)]
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.