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knockeddown posted 5/7/2014 17:11 PM

Hello all,

I just want to make a PSA. Please, if you haven't done so already, get tested. I was sooo nervous about it and thought that I would for sure find out that I had some soft of STD from my WW. Well.....the results came back NEGATIVE!

Even if they had come back positive, I would have been diligent in my medical care to be able to take care of myself the best I can. Knowledge is power. This is just another way to feel empowered.


confused615 posted 5/7/2014 17:20 PM


Even if your WS tells you it was "only" an EA...or "just" kissing....even if they tell you they used a condom.

You have just found out your spouse has done the unthinkable. They've cheated. You can not trust your health with someone who has shown blatant disregard for your well being. You owe it to yourself, to your family and friends, to make sure you are physically ok.

I know you want to believe them right now. But you can't. The one thing you can trust is that they have been lying to you. Are they still? Maybe. Maybe not.

You must take care of yourself. Don't be embarrassed or ashamed. this isn't your shame. You didn't do this. The doctors and nurses will be kind and respectful.

Do it. You're worth it.

Chinadoll30 posted 5/7/2014 19:36 PM

I should get my results tomorrow or Friday. I fear for WH's safety if I am positive for anything.

Raspberry posted 5/7/2014 19:40 PM

I just got my results...all negative too. Thank god. I would have gone nuts on him.

nowiknow23 posted 5/7/2014 19:41 PM

Yay for negative results, knockeddown and raspberry!

Chinadoll - sending you negative results mojo. ((((hugs))))

krsplat posted 5/7/2014 19:42 PM

This was difficult for me, so humiliating, but the good folks here on SI "encouraged" me into it. The relief was huge.

Tammy1 posted 5/7/2014 21:29 PM

I just got tested today, 4 weeks after d-day. It was awful and embarrassing, but I needed to get it done. I'm just angry that WH seems so certain that OW didn't have any diseases.

Scubadoo posted 5/7/2014 22:06 PM

It took me six months to get the nerve to get tested. Thank God they were negative. Yet, I have to go back in 6 months for follow up HIV. How humiliating is that. The crap I have to go through because my husband could not keep his pecker in his pants.

Furious1 posted 5/8/2014 06:11 AM

I agree. Get tested. WH and I had ours done at the same time (same doctor). When I told him that we needed STD tests because WH had numerous affairs and a 3 year A with my sister, he chewed WH out. Gotta love small town doctors. The doctor was really gentle with me with only blood tests, but informed WH that he was going to go through more thorough testing since it wasn't my fault he couldn't keep it in his pants. After some in depth swabbing and blood tests, the doc referred WH for a prostate exam. The doctor that did his prostate exam had the largest hands I have ever seen.

Even with a negative result, I still insist that he wear a condom when (if) we ever have sex again. While I am willing to risk getting my heart broken again, I am not willing to risk my life to do it.

JustWow posted 5/8/2014 06:37 AM

We both got tested and turns out we both got souvenirs from his excursions in hell - 3 different STI's from his little petri dish of a whore. All treatable, thank goodness, but GET TESTED. Most things can be treated, and early treatment on some of these can make the difference in the long term effects on your health.

LAFA posted 5/8/2014 08:53 AM

Very good post, knockeddown! The embarrassment is nothing compared to the possible repercussions of ignoring the possibilities of a serious illness if the POS engaged with a diseased skank of either gender. Above all else, be good to you!!!

Strangefacade posted 5/12/2014 21:21 PM

Yep. I agree.
I am now std positive after 10 years of monogamy.
And my son, 3 months, likely is too. If I had known about the affair earlier, I could have elected to have a csection so my son would not be exposed.
I hate wh today.

knockeddown posted 5/12/2014 21:45 PM


I am so sorry that you have had to deal with what sounds like the deepest, most gut-wrenching pain imaginable. I have no words to express my empathy for you, just virtual hugs.


marlie2014 posted 5/12/2014 21:51 PM

I agree with this. And yes, it is very painful to find out that you have been given a STI. Or two. Or three. Devastating.

Tomorrow I get yet another test, to examine what my treatment options are.

And yet, the STBX doesn't understand why I hate him so much?!?!? Same as the earlier poster -- after all these years of monogamy and marrying him as a virgin, now I have to deal with this.

I suppose I should be happy I don't have HIV.

BuckeyeBlues posted 5/14/2014 14:05 PM

I found out about the affair a week ago, and have already been tested for some STD's and HIV. All negative. WH got tested this morning; we'll have his results by Friday. We'll have to go back in 3 months for followup to the HIV testing, and then we would be clear...

strongerdaybyday posted 5/14/2014 14:17 PM

I got tested the day after Dday. Turns out we were both good. But she has Bacterial Vaginosis (she disclosed this to H after she landed on my doorstep to out the affair) and told H he probably gave it to me. A day later I got a facebook message from OW.

“Your an amazing women that deserves better. Who knows who else your H was cheating with. I WAS WATCHING MAURY AND THERE WAS A GIRL ON IT WHOS HUSBAND WAS CHEATING AND SHE ENDED UP HAVING SOMETHING DEADLY.”

And yes. That is EXACTLY how the email was written. I didn’t keep it but I remember it because I thought, “Ugh, what a f*cking moron.”

feelinglost360 posted 5/14/2014 19:12 PM

Well I just got my test results back.....He did give me something , thank god it's treatable! But now I know this isn't his 1st time cheating on me cause we haven't had something sex for 3 weeks. I am so pissed off right now!

nowiknow23 posted 5/14/2014 19:18 PM

((((feelinglost)))) I'm so sorry, honey.

knockeddown posted 5/14/2014 19:22 PM

Feelinglost360 - I am so sorry to hear that. Thank goodness it's treatable! It is pathetic what they do to us, isn't it? I mean, toss the vows out the window and insert gonorrhea. :(

AttemptStrength posted 5/17/2014 10:12 AM

The FDA in North America is adding better testing for HPV.

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