It definitely has brought out some anger at the waste of it all, a stupid high school affair which is funny when you consider she is a high school teacher. But at the same time it seems, for now, to have brought some calm as well! I feel as though I now have an idea of what was happening behind my back now, and whilst I'll never know it all, or probably if he is telling the whole truth, I feel as though maybe I can stop obsessing so much about the affair. I'm sure I will still have questions, still have mind movies, but perhaps this is a step toward R in an unexpected way!
My H affair was also very High School, except she thought she was the redneck Carrie Bradshaw. The exchanges I read were right out of study hall. My H is a serious man, an engineer. We met at a technical university. Even on our silliest day, we never hit it hard Teenbeat style.
You are pretty fresh meat on the forum, so be kind to yourself. It took me longer than I want to admit to stop stalking the OW's MySpace page(yeah it was 6 years ago). One day at a time.
Going for a walk, listen to some serious angry rock - it helps. I had that song " I Hate Everything About You" on repeat- not sure if I meant my H or the OW. Another way I distracted myself was books on CD. The bloodier the murder mystery the better. Get out of your head occasionally. Hang in there it is a bumpy ride for sure.
[This message edited by redrock at 6:17 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
I just want to gently mention that you shouldn't give up on having the whole truth from him. It's critical to having an honest, healthy relationship.
Baby steps and going easy on yourself through the ups and downs are key here. I hope that there are more moments of clarity and peace coming your way.
[This message edited by RomanticInnocenc at 8:34 PM, May 7th (Wednesday)]
Coincidentally, the MOW is a high school teacher.
I am normally a fairly composed and put together person. I teach college, coach soccer, and volunteer. But, I keep thinking if I see the AP that my first instinct will be to flip her off, or mouth "F_U_C_K Y_O_U" really clearly. I think that can't be good.
[This message edited by bionicgal at 10:11 AM, May 8th (Thursday)]
DD #1 26 August 2013 - EA on FB and phone with a former flame OW#2 for about 8 months
DD #2 30 April 2014 - EA/PA for 10 months in 2011 with OW#1
Hoping for R
Bionic- I would be the same. My current day dream includes me giving her a huge smile, shaking my head and muttering 'loser' and having a laugh. Try and make her feel as insignificant as they made me feel!
Branca - thanks. I like to face things head on, I find the more avoidance on things like this the more it will hurt later and the bigger it gets in my mind. I'd rather get it done and feel the horrific pain, but begin to heal as soon as possible. But that's just me! :-)
Our OW is a school nurse who works with disabled children so I too find it gross that these whores are allowed around innocent children...
Livinglimbo - does it concern you like it does me that these women are teaching you people?
This is something that I struggle with. The AP has a sex blog under a pseudo name. Still, she leaves enough clues, including stating that she's a teacher, where her employer could verify that it is indeed her.
There are a few reasons why I have chosen not to inform her school. First, I doubt that they can do anything since she's protected by a powerful union. Would it be in her personnel file? Yes, but other than that, tenured teachers have a ton of job protection.
Second, it took intervention by an attorney to get her to leave my FWH alone. If I were to initiate any action, it would nullify what we did.
Third and foremost, we have managed to keep all of this from our children. Much as there's always the possibility that they could find out, I wouldn't risk it by poking the bear.
One thing that I've seen in my time on SI is that AP's come in all walks of life, including those who we entrust our children to. It's yet another part of having my rose-colored glasses ripped off and seeing the ugly side of life.
I still pass by the area, which I avoid but it is near the shopping mall where we go. It's inevitable.