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Newest Member: Chilli (47017)

User Topic: Spring Cleaning...
♀ 36684
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've been stuck.
For a while now, I stopped posting here, I read everyday, but hardly ever respond... even stopped with SPF!
I put down NJF, I slowed in my step work, my IC is not super productive.
Not moving forward, standing still.
I found myself withdrawing from AFK, not purposely.
Wanting to move but being unable.


I ran into a question recently,in my stepwork, about a vision of ourselves, who do I want to be? What assets do I want to carry forth into my life, how would my life look without my destructive character defects.
I've been putting off answering.
Because I'm afraid. I have some vague unfounded fear holding me, fear of failure and fear of vulnerability, fear of the future, fear fear fear.

So I busted out my journal this morning and did a TON of writing. I dumped a head full on those pages. I've never written so much in one sitting.

I answered those questions that I've been rolling around in my head and the answers are beautiful. (oh boy here come the tears)
Beautiful and wonderful and the thing is I already have so much of the attributes I want. I've left behind so many that I don't.

It was one of those cathartic mornings starting in the shower, thru my writing, with a brief interlude running Mr. I won't blow my nose so I cough a lot, to the doctor (he's fine). I picked up NJF.

I feel like I did some spring cleaning in my head.
I feel light and air flowing through there.

I have come so far and I have to remember that my work on me will never be done.

FWS me 37 (recovering addict)
BS him 40 AFrayedKnot
Together 8 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

Posts: 1158 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Surprisinglyokay! Good to see you.

I'm glad you dusted off what needed dusting off and are feeling lighter again.

Happiness is an inside job. ---William Arthur Ward

Posts: 40906 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One step at a time. Keep it up.

[This message edited by Aubrie at 7:39 PM, May 8th (Thursday)]

"You give me that bottom of the 9th, last at bat, tied game, grand slam, full of butterflies kind of feeling." - My Husband

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 6782 | Registered: Nov 2011
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"All the wars, all the hatred, all the ignorance in the world come out of being so invested in our opinions. And at bottom, those opinions are merely our efforts to escape the underlying uneasiness of being human. - Pema Chodron

Posts: 20916 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4

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