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Newest Member: disgustedbyme (58046)

User Topic: Spring Cleaning...
♀ 36684
Member # 36684
Default  Posted: 1:28 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So I've been stuck.
For a while now, I stopped posting here, I read everyday, but hardly ever respond... even stopped with SPF!
I put down NJF, I slowed in my step work, my IC is not super productive.
Not moving forward, standing still.
I found myself withdrawing from AFK, not purposely.
Wanting to move but being unable.


I ran into a question recently,in my stepwork, about a vision of ourselves, who do I want to be? What assets do I want to carry forth into my life, how would my life look without my destructive character defects.
I've been putting off answering.
Because I'm afraid. I have some vague unfounded fear holding me, fear of failure and fear of vulnerability, fear of the future, fear fear fear.

So I busted out my journal this morning and did a TON of writing. I dumped a head full on those pages. I've never written so much in one sitting.

I answered those questions that I've been rolling around in my head and the answers are beautiful. (oh boy here come the tears)
Beautiful and wonderful and the thing is I already have so much of the attributes I want. I've left behind so many that I don't.

It was one of those cathartic mornings starting in the shower, thru my writing, with a brief interlude running Mr. I won't blow my nose so I cough a lot, to the doctor (he's fine). I picked up NJF.

I feel like I did some spring cleaning in my head.
I feel light and air flowing through there.

I have come so far and I have to remember that my work on me will never be done.

FWS me 38 (recovering addict)
BS him 41 AFrayedKnot
Together 10 years
2 children

"Your secrets keep you sick"

Posts: 1168 | Registered: Sep 2012 | From: 221B
♀ 16024
Member # 16024
Default  Posted: 2:20 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Hi Surprisinglyokay! Good to see you.

I'm glad you dusted off what needed dusting off and are feeling lighter again.

I feel your spirit in my heart every day. I look towards the sky and see your smile. I miss you, sweet sister friend.

Posts: 54172 | Registered: Sep 2007
♀ 33886
Member # 33886
Default  Posted: 7:39 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

One step at a time. Keep it up.

[This message edited by Aubrie at 7:39 PM, May 8th (Thursday)]

"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne

Posts: 7763 | Registered: Nov 2011
♀ 31349
Member # 31349
Default  Posted: 7:53 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage


"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

Posts: 29076 | Registered: Feb 2011 | From: California
Topic Posts: 4

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