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Newest Member: timeheals (61501)

User Topic: what should I be looking for?
♀ 42949
Member # 42949
Default  Posted: 8:50 PM, May 8th (Thursday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So it's been two months since D day. My husband is continuing to want to reconcile. I'm still trying to give it time. He did individual counseling and so do I but my question is, what other things should he be doing ti put his best foot forward? How do I know reconciliation is completely sincere? Actions speak louder than words, but what should those actions look like? I feel like counseling isn't enough...I feel like I have things in mind but I don't want to lead the way because it should be his ideas..etc. Any advice would be appreciated! Fyi....this is the second time he's been caught.

Posts: 6 | Registered: Mar 2014
♀ 42977
Member # 42977
Default  Posted: 7:45 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Not sure what articles from SI you have showed him. But this one really helped us, and myself in return.

Gave WH true understanding of where I was and ways to help me & "us".

Hope it is helpful.

Me-BS 40
WS-38 LTA with co-worker
Together 10+ - Married almost 1 year (DDay is week before anniv)

"The desire to love someone always exceeds the desire to be loved by someone & that's exactly why we end up loving the person who doesn&

Posts: 86 | Registered: Apr 2014 | From: Brooklyn, NY
♀ 24719
Member # 24719
Default  Posted: 7:55 AM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

total transparency. FULL access to every email, forum, message board, social networking, phone, credit card statement, and computer file. Willingness to talk about his A, any time you need to...

Read "How to help your spouse heal from you affair", and then have him read it... if he's serious, he WILL do the things outlined in the book... and he will understand why.

Phrases like "Shouldn't you be over this?" and "it's been X months already" should NOT be in his vocabulary.

Me- 42- BS Him- 38- WH D-day#1 5/25/09 multi EAs, likely PA, trickle truth, d-day#2 11/06/13 Prostitute Separated 1/2017
"I've seen your flag on the marble arch, our love is not a victory march, it's a cold and broken hallelujah"

Posts: 2303 | Registered: Jul 2009 | From: Kentucky
Topic Posts: 3

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