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Newest Member: silenceisnotgold (46036)

User Topic: Met SO's kids
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:52 PM, May 9th (Friday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

My SO and I met in the fall of '12 and started dating, but it was only five months after his D was final, and we broke up 8 months later for six months because he wasn't ready. We started dating again in the fall of '13 and have been going strong since, however, I hadn't met his children. I wasn't in a hurry, but we finally did that tonight, and it went pretty well.

He has twin girls, who turned 10 yesterday, and a son who is about to turn 14. We went bowling and played air hockey, and went through a laser room, and it was fun. I'm in no rush, but I'm pleased that it went well. SO was pleased because he now feels like he no longer has to feel like he's living a double life - one with the kids, and one separately with me. (They have 50/50 custody - week on/ week off). It will still be a gradual thing - again no need to rush, but I'm glad we now know each other.

It's been a good week.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
MovingUpward
♂ 14866
Member # 14866
Default  Posted: 12:44 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!!!!


AKA Moo

Think of the haters in your life as sandpaper; they’ll scratch you up time and time again but in the end you’re polished, smooth, and spotless..while they end up useless

We make a living by what we get, but we make a life by what we give.


Posts: 53332 | Registered: Jun 2007 | From: Big Blue Nation
Amazonia
♀ 32810
Member # 32810
Default  Posted: 3:48 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Glad it went well!! And glad things are going so well between you and SO!


"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

Posts: 13934 | Registered: Jul 2011
cmego
♀ 30346
Member # 30346
Default  Posted: 6:19 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Awesome!!

So…how did the kids act/react?


me...BS, 44 years old, 2 small kids
WS, 41, multiple gay affairs
M 15 years, together 17
Divorced


Posts: 4284 | Registered: Dec 2010 | From: South
Kajem
♀ 36134
Member # 36134
Default  Posted: 7:50 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

Yay!!!!!


I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - Unknown
Relationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

Posts: 5744 | Registered: Jul 2012 | From: Florida
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 9:50 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

So…how did the kids act/react?

They seemed to react well. I'm fairly good with talking to kids, the girls were easy, at least for a first meeting. The 14 yr old boy seemed a little hesitant at first, and I respected his space, but he loosened up as the evening progressed.

They are good kids, clearly close to each other and their dad. SO interacts well with his kids, very involved. Lots of high fives between everyone during bowling, etc. And I told them how kind they were to not give me a hard time about my horrible bowling skill...lol.

Then we took turns in the lazer maze and after that I played air hockey with one of the girls, while SO and the other two played pool.

My kids are 19 and 21 and now out of the house for most of the year, so it was nice to be around younger kids. I miss it. (My son drove in last night for the weekend, and it feels so nice just to have him in the house).

We'll take it gradually, they don't need an instant constant persevere presence...lol....but it's nice we can now plan occasional times to get together during his weeks with the kids.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
TrustedHer
♂ 23328
Member # 23328
Default  Posted: 11:19 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

It sounds to me like you're doing it exactly right.

Wait several months, then meet at a neutral location, then take it slow.

If you're looking at sticking with this long term, are you prepared to deal with (step) parenting 3 more kids through their teenage years?

I don't think I'd be up to that. But then, I'm older.

Get off my lawn!


Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

Posts: 5218 | Registered: Mar 2009 | From: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
persevere
♀ 31468
Member # 31468
Default  Posted: 11:33 AM, May 10th (Saturday), 2014View ProfileEdit MessagePrivate MessageHomepage

If you're looking at sticking with this long term, are you prepared to deal with (step) parenting 3 more kids through their teenage years?

We'll go down that road when we come to it, lol, but, yes, twin girls about to hit tween then teen years has crossed my mind.

Since they have a 50/50 custody situation, SO and his XW coparent fairly well together and interact often. I think that's great for the kids, but not a dynamic I've ever dealt with, so I'm a little nervous about that. But, again, we're not rushing anything.


Me: BW-44
Him: XWH-44
Together 9 yrs
DDays: 1/10/2011
Status: Divorced 4/27/11

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K. Rowling


Posts: 4715 | Registered: Mar 2011 | From: Texas
Topic Posts: 8

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