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Newest Member: Starrystarrynight

New Beginnings :
Met SO's kids

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 persevere (original poster member #31468) posted at 5:52 AM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

My SO and I met in the fall of '12 and started dating, but it was only five months after his D was final, and we broke up 8 months later for six months because he wasn't ready. We started dating again in the fall of '13 and have been going strong since, however, I hadn't met his children. I wasn't in a hurry, but we finally did that tonight, and it went pretty well.

He has twin girls, who turned 10 yesterday, and a son who is about to turn 14. We went bowling and played air hockey, and went through a laser room, and it was fun. I'm in no rush, but I'm pleased that it went well. SO was pleased because he now feels like he no longer has to feel like he's living a double life - one with the kids, and one separately with me. (They have 50/50 custody - week on/ week off). It will still be a gradual thing - again no need to rush, but I'm glad we now know each other.

It's been a good week.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6793277
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MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 6:44 AM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

Yay!!!!

posts: 54450   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2007
id 6793298
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Amazonia ( member #32810) posted at 9:48 AM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

Glad it went well!! And glad things are going so well between you and SO!

"You yourself deserve your love and affection as much as anybody in the universe." -Buddha
"Let's face it, life is a crap shoot." -Sad in AZ

posts: 14469   ·   registered: Jul. 17th, 2011
id 6793341
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cmego ( member #30346) posted at 12:19 PM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

Awesome!!

So…how did the kids act/react?

me...BS, 46 years old.
Divorced

posts: 4745   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2010   ·   location: South
id 6793382
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Kajem ( member #36134) posted at 1:50 PM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

Yay!!!!!

I trust you is a better compliment than I love you, because you may not trust the person you love, but you can always love the person you trust. - UnknownRelationships are like sharing a book, it doesn't work if you're not on the same page.

posts: 6708   ·   registered: Jul. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Florida
id 6793437
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 persevere (original poster member #31468) posted at 3:50 PM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

So…how did the kids act/react?

They seemed to react well. I'm fairly good with talking to kids, the girls were easy, at least for a first meeting. The 14 yr old boy seemed a little hesitant at first, and I respected his space, but he loosened up as the evening progressed.

They are good kids, clearly close to each other and their dad. SO interacts well with his kids, very involved. Lots of high fives between everyone during bowling, etc. And I told them how kind they were to not give me a hard time about my horrible bowling skill...lol.

Then we took turns in the lazer maze and after that I played air hockey with one of the girls, while SO and the other two played pool.

My kids are 19 and 21 and now out of the house for most of the year, so it was nice to be around younger kids. I miss it. (My son drove in last night for the weekend, and it feels so nice just to have him in the house).

We'll take it gradually, they don't need an instant constant persevere presence...lol....but it's nice we can now plan occasional times to get together during his weeks with the kids.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6793532
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TrustedHer ( member #23328) posted at 5:19 PM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

It sounds to me like you're doing it exactly right.

Wait several months, then meet at a neutral location, then take it slow.

If you're looking at sticking with this long term, are you prepared to deal with (step) parenting 3 more kids through their teenage years?

I don't think I'd be up to that. But then, I'm older.

Get off my lawn!

Take care of yourself. There's a great future out there. It won't come to you; you have to go to it.

posts: 5942   ·   registered: Mar. 21st, 2009   ·   location: DeepInTheHeartOf, TX
id 6793618
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 persevere (original poster member #31468) posted at 5:33 PM on Saturday, May 10th, 2014

If you're looking at sticking with this long term, are you prepared to deal with (step) parenting 3 more kids through their teenage years?

We'll go down that road when we come to it, lol, but, yes, twin girls about to hit tween then teen years has crossed my mind.

Since they have a 50/50 custody situation, SO and his XW coparent fairly well together and interact often. I think that's great for the kids, but not a dynamic I've ever dealt with, so I'm a little nervous about that. But, again, we're not rushing anything.

DDay:2011
Status: D 2011
Remarried to a kind and wonderful man - 2017

Above all, be the heroine, not the victim. - Nora Ephron

It is our choices...that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
- J. K.

posts: 5329   ·   registered: Mar. 9th, 2011
id 6793635
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