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Divorce/Separation :
All I want for Mother's Day is for him to drop dead

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 careerlady (original poster member #16958) posted at 5:53 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

I got home at almost 3:30 am last night after a tough shift. My dad is visiting and the Snake is still here so at my dad's suggestion I went up to take a nap after I got up with DS. The Snake was saying he wanted to watch DS even though that basically means ignore him and exercise, leaving him to wander. DS, who is 22 months and recently diagnosed with autism, hurt himself (sounds like he ran into the top of the counter and hit his head [growth spurt]).

He starts crying. The Snake yells angrily at him that if he wouldn't run around like that he wouldn't get hurt. DS cries harder. The Snake yells at him even louder and meaner. DS sounds inconsolable, and I know he's not comforting him. I am about to get up but I hear my dad go out and get him and console him. I look on the nanny cam and the Snake had long resumed his workout while my dad was wiping away tears.

I fucking hate him so much. I can't wait until he's out of my house. I want to rush down and fucking kill him. I plan to document this of course but not sure about other steps to take. I've talked to him about yelling at DS ad nauseam and he's ignored me. Since he's not even speaking to me now (because I got my default divorce) I know he won't listen today.

OMG even as I type this he talked mean to him again about how he was running. His receptive language is POOR he doesn't even UNDERSTAND everything he's saying just that his FATHER is being MEAN!!!

I don't even want him to have EOW. I want him to die.

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6794601
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 careerlady (original poster member #16958) posted at 5:57 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

Is the edit button gone? I wanted to add that DS burst into tears again this when he yelled at him while I was typing my post

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6794604
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MinorBee ( member #17895) posted at 6:45 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

t/j...

How is it that you are divorced and your ex-husband is still living at your house? Does he have money invested in the house and is trying to retain his claim to ownership by staying?

end t/j

previously married for 20 years
DDays: which time?, OW's which one?

posts: 458   ·   registered: Jan. 25th, 2008
id 6794645
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 careerlady (original poster member #16958) posted at 7:04 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

Oh divorce is final as of a week ago I served him with an eviction notice. I'm an idiot and gave him 60 days because he will be gone for most of this month and at least half of next month😕

Me (BS, 35); The Snake (WS, 36) 13yrs together; 1 baby boy (DOB 7/12)
Serial cheater-Multiple OWs, Multiple D-Days
D by default 5/3/14!
In house 8 mos, moved out 7/1!!!
Summary: http://youtu.be/iaysTVcounI

posts: 949   ·   registered: Nov. 10th, 2007   ·   location: Northern California
id 6794654
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ButterflyGirl ( member #38377) posted at 7:07 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

If it's any consolation, I hope he drops dead too. What a monster.

I can only advise to keep that nanny cam going. Even though it's obvious this guy should have supervised visitation AT MOST, I don't know if you have enough yet, so keep it up.

My ex has EOW, and he's a horrible father as well, emotionally and "playfully" physically abusive. I called DCF, but since it was "horseplay," WHICH IT WASN'T, they dropped the case. But no penalities on me for being a concerned mom, and I'm not hesitating one second to call them again. He will KNOW not to fuck with my kids, and that I will do everything in my power to protect them.

Hugs to you girl. And to your little sweetie who deserves someone a hundred million times better than that guy. That's awesome you got dad there to help you out for a bit. He sounds great

xBW~ 40
Two DS~ 15 and 11

posts: 3123   ·   registered: Feb. 6th, 2013   ·   location: Flat Earth
id 6794656
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thebighurt ( member #34722) posted at 10:26 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

Hope you have a very happy Mothers Day! And hope the same for me!!

Finding what life could have been....... Why didn't I see it?

posts: 5033   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2012   ·   location: the Other Side
id 6794782
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SBB ( member #35229) posted at 10:35 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

He did this in front of your dad? Yeah - I wouldn't what him to have EOW either.

I'm so sorry mamma. That would burn me too. 22m FFS. Give the kid a break.

I may have reached a point where I'd piss on him if he was on fire.... eventually!!

posts: 6062   ·   registered: Apr. 4th, 2012   ·   location: Australia
id 6794790
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neverbeokay ( member #8275) posted at 10:58 PM on Sunday, May 11th, 2014

I wish he would choke on his workout gear. My son also has autism. Many, many kids with autism have very sensitive hearing and yelling is actually physically painful for them. I'm glad you have your father to help support you and your sweet little boy. Hope you can enjoy the rest of your day.

posts: 361   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2005
id 6794808
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Gr8Lady ( member #36307) posted at 4:00 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

I would put up a nanny cam and video this horrible behavior.

That would be Epic documentation

He can drop dead as far as I'm concerned. Scum treating his son like that.

BS: Me (70yo)FWH: HIM (72 yo)) serial infidelities over past 35 years
DD: Multiple unconfirmed until 2013

friends wife lasting 10 years. TT over a
year a year. Now his health is declining,
among the lack of communication.

posts: 762   ·   registered: Jul. 31st, 2012
id 6795076
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newlysingle ( member #38735) posted at 7:06 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

I want to kick his ass for you. I also have a 20 month old son who falls, hits his hear, etcetera multiple times a day. It's part of being a toddler! How could he not comfort him? He's just a baby!

I want to kick the shit out of him. Let me at him!

BW - Me (40)
XWH -The Gnat
"Engaged" to OW, but the wedding appears to be indefinitely postponed.
M for 8 years, together for 10
1 DD (8), 1 DS (3)
Dday 3/13
Happily Divorced 9/20/13

posts: 1273   ·   registered: Mar. 17th, 2013   ·   location: AZ
id 6795158
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Abbondad ( member #37898) posted at 10:38 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

Angry for you. I am the father of two children with Tourette's Syndrome and reading this stuff just infuriates me.

Hang in there. This too shall pass.

Divorced April Fool's Day 2014

Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.I will face my fear.I will permit it to pass over me and through me.-Dune

posts: 2088   ·   registered: Dec. 25th, 2012
id 6795196
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NaiveAgain ( member #20849) posted at 11:54 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

What is the custody situation? Will he get any custody once he moves out? Because he is being verbally and emotionally abusive but it is so damn difficult to get the courts to care about anything but extreme physical abuse. If he gets your son alone though, you may need to get CS involved (and keep getting documentation!)

Original WS D-Day July 10, 2008. Kept lying, he is gone.
New WS (2 EA's, no PA) 12-3-13
If you don't like where you are, then change it. You are not a tree.

posts: 16236   ·   registered: Aug. 31st, 2008   ·   location: Ohio
id 6795213
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 4:14 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

I'm so glad that the D is final.

I so hope you are getting documented proof of his abusive behavior.

I hope your dad is willing to say yes he is abusive.

This fucker doesn't deserve to spend time with anyone other than himself. He is a waste of oxygen.

I would record everything, and file abuse charges on this shit. NO WAY should you have to tolerate this.

(((and strength))))

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20380   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 6795538
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solus sto ( member #30989) posted at 4:23 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

(((careerlady))))))) Next MD will be light-years better. Especially if you get your wish! (I'd say "just joking," but I'm not; I share the same wish, though Trac-Fone is mostly just a waste of oxygen and space now rather than a constant source of pain).

It does get better. Having him out of the house will be enormously freeing.

BS-me, 62; X-irrelevant; we’re D & NC. "So much for the past and present. The future is called 'perhaps,' which is the only possible thing to call the future. And the important thing is not to let that scare you." Tennessee Williams

posts: 15630   ·   registered: Jan. 26th, 2011   ·   location: midwest
id 6795556
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GingerAle ( member #33822) posted at 4:45 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014

What an abusive monster!! I agree about the nanny cam. I am so sorry you have to deal with this. ((((careerlady & sweet little boy))))

My EXWH: 6 month EA in 2010 OW 1

2 year Sexting/PA 2012-2014 OW2

I divorced him in May 2014

posts: 442   ·   registered: Nov. 4th, 2011
id 6795586
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Pentup ( member #20563) posted at 9:06 PM on Tuesday, May 20th, 2014

Just checking in to see how you are doing?

Me- BS
Him- FWS (I hope- F)

posts: 8410   ·   registered: Aug. 8th, 2008   ·   location: Not Oz
id 6806818
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