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plainpain (original poster member #40139) posted at 1:08 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
We have company, and I have locked myself in the bathroom... sobbing. I am not handling Mother's Day very well. He gave her everything. Everything he gave me. He made a LIFE with her. An entire human being. She didn't mean anything to him, and still he gave her everything he gave me. What does that say for everything that makes up our life?
She's a mother because of him. It will never, ever go away... into generations into forever. I loved him so much. I was faithful. I just do not understand what I ever did to deserve this pain. I wish he would have just shot me in the heart instead.
Prayers and positive thoughts are very welcome.
Me: Believer, 40s
Him: Liar, 40s
Married 19 years
1 year EA/2 month PA/incidental infidelities I can't begin to process
OC born 2014
OW:21
In successful R. It only hurts now when it rains.
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 1:14 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
((Plainpain)), I am so sorry. Closing off to pray for you now. Cry. Get it out then splash some cold water on your face and tell everyone you have a headache - ask them to enjoy themselves but you must lay down.
This is all so hard.
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
lbuzz ( member #43164) posted at 1:16 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
I don't have much to say of comfort except that I am so sorry for your pain. Please be kind to yourself even with your own thoughts. You are a wonderful person who doesn't deserve this agony. I'm sending you lots of healing energy!!!
PollyA ( member #40567) posted at 3:02 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
I, too, realize I can't fix your pain, but care and send healing energy your way.
BW - 2 x's ( once before married, got therapy, thought we'd both moved forward)
WH - SA? Probably not. Just a Selfish ASS
DD1 - 4/2001 - 1 OW, left, returned, therapy, thought he'd "gotten it". I was wrong.
DD2 - 8/2013 -
ItsaClimb ( member #37107) posted at 8:36 AM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
{{plainpain}} I feel your pain. Please know that we are all here for you, praying for you. You are a strong woman, stronger than you think, just keep on keeping on honey.
BS 52
Together 35 yrs, M 31 years
2 daughters 30yo(married with 2 children) & 25yo
D-Day 18 Aug 2012
6mth EA lead to 4mth PA with CO-W. I found out 8 1/2 yrs later
AML04 ( member #39682) posted at 1:05 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
Me-BS Him-WH DS 5/12
Met 2000, Married 2004
DDay 5/26/13, TT through 8/13
2.5 yr EA w/co-worker, PA 12/12 to 4/13
Hopeful for R
jo2love ( member #31528) posted at 1:31 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 1:39 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
((((PP))))
Each year will become easier and easier. YOU will heal.
It's just a Hallmark Holiday anyway. If you don't want to celebrate, or acknowledge for a few years that's ok too.
((((and strength))))
Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.
MovingUpward ( member #14866) posted at 1:39 PM on Monday, May 12th, 2014
(((hugs))) Sending prayers of healing
Reallyscared ( member #43653) posted at 4:49 AM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
I wish I had a dollar for every time I have asked myself "What in the name of heaven did I ever do in this life to deserve such pain?"
Let me be clear. You did NOTHING to deserve this. Neither did I. My husband and I, as a couple, may have not been aware that our path was becoming tortuous and I will take some blame in taking our relationship for granted but he alone, owns this act. I will no longer let myself believe that I was given this torch as some sort of punishment.
I will pray for you as I pray for everyone, those who I know and don't know, who have gone through this pain. I really believe this site will make me stronger. Make US stronger!!!
Hugs
Me: 40
Him: 40, ONS
DD: Nov, 2012
Married 17 years, together 20.
Reconciling
"Sometimes we are taken into troubled waters, not to drown, but to be cleansed"
FixYou71 ( member #42654) posted at 7:54 AM on Tuesday, June 10th, 2014
Ive asked that question many times too...'what did I do wrong? I tried I'd to be a good person. Why am I being punished?"
You didnt do anything to deserve this kind of betrayal. Let the tears flow. Let yorself feel what you need to feel. Go take a nice long nap. The company will get over it. Take care of you. We're here when you need us! ((((Plainpain))))
BS:44
H: 50
Dday #1 Oct 2007 (Porn for 2 yrs)
Dday #2 May 2013 (Porn for 5 more yrs))
Dday#3 May 2014 (finally admitted to drunk kissing OW in 1994: the 2nd drunken kiss with another woman during our M)
DD 22 and DS 18
Married 1993
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