I'm a mess. I know WH has been fully emotionally involved again with OW. I found out she come through town in March, he went on business in April , so now the trip is planned for May. I just wish he would stop this madness until we are divorced, wishful stupid thinking, I know.
WH used our points and paid for her to come to town next Thursday through Sunday. I'm a wreck. We aren't legally separated, haven't filed for divorce, but he keeps saying we are officially separated since we declared moving to divorce. I guess I knew about the last trip, but I can't cope with this one since I think she is going to his family condo. Coming to our hometown, doing things we do, sitting in our truck. My kids photos are everywhere at condo, I'm even on the wall photos. WH missing our sons last soccer game, the first of many weekends where he will be selfishly missing kids lives for his own pleasure. Makes me sick.
How do I keep myself strong knowing all of this? I want to yell at him so bad, but I know it won't matter. He will just deny deny deny.
Thanks for letting me vent. I had to write this somewhere. Seeing lawyer Monday, I am close to filing, I just want to have mediator scheduled, then I can count down the 3-4 months until court date. I hope that gives me some relief. 
